How to Decide Who to Marry: By Kids


Kids contemplate marriage.

How would you make your marriage work?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
Ricky, age 10

How can a stranger tell if two people are married?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
Derrick, age 8

What do you think your mom and dad have in common?
Both donʼt want any more kids.
Lori, age 8

What do most people do on a date?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
Lynnette, age 8 (isnʼt she a treasure?)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
Martin, age 10

What would you do on a first date that was turning sour?
Iʼd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
Craig, age 9

When is it okay to kiss someone?
When theyʼre rich.
Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldnʼt want to mess with that.
Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. Itʼs the right thing to do.
Howard, age 8

What is the right age to get married?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
Camille, age 10

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)

Is it better to be single or married?
I donʼt know which is better, but Iʼll tell you one thing. Iʼm never going to kiss my wife. I donʼt want to be all grossed out.
Theodore, age 8

Itʼs better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

How do you decide whom to marry?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who theyʼre going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who youʼre stuck with.
Kristen, age 10

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
first.
'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And that's when the fight started.....

Rhonda! :haha:

(I changed a few words in this!)

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION

ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME - WITH THE “MOST ROMANTIC” FIRST LINE,
AND THE “LEAST ROMANTIC “ SECOND LINE:

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was miffed.

I thought that I could love no other
-- that is until I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Darn, I'm good at telling lies!

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to (you know where!)'

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.


Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a baby.

The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely Caucasian, WHITE baby boy.

'Congratulations,' says the nurse to the new parents. 'Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?'

The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, 'Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we will name him...

Are you ready for this?.......

Sum Ting Wong

This is not a Joke Really but a Little Poem i found online

Recipe For Life

4 cups of Love
2 cups of Loyalty
3 cups of Forgiveness
1 cup of Friendship
5 spoons of Hope
2 spoons of Tenderness
4 quarts of Faith
1 barrel of Laughter

Take Love and Loyalty, mix it thoroughly with Faith.
Blend it with Tenderness, Kindness & Understanding.
Sprinkle abundantly with Laughter.
Bake it with Sunshine.
Serve daily with Generous helpings.

Rhonda!!!! :Hahaha:

This one may be already posted...not sure!

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!

Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?' The 94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and see..' She starts up the stairs and pauses 'Was I going up the stairs or down? The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood.' She then yells, 'I'll come up and help Both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.'

Too funny!

Baptist Shampoo

While shopping in a grocery store, two Baptist church ladies happened to pass by the beer, wine, and liquor section. One asked the other if she would like a beer. The second good Baptist sister answered that, indeed, it would be very nice to have one, but that she would feel uncomfortable about purchasing it.

The first sister replied that she would handle that without a problem. She picked up a six-pack and took it to the cashier. The cashier had a surprised look, so the good Baptist sister said, 'This is for washing our hair.'

Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter and put a package of pretzel sticks in the bag with the beer. 'The curlers are on me.'

:Hahaha::Hahaha::Hahaha:

After church, Robbie tells his parents he has to go and talk to the minister right away. They agree and the pastor greets the family.

"Pastor," Robbie says, "I heard you say today that our bodies came from the dust."

"That's right, Johnny, I did.""And I heard you say that when we die, our bodies go back to dust."

"Yes, I'm glad you were listening. Why do you ask?"

"Well you better come over to our house right away and look under my bed 'cause there's someone either comin' or goin'!"

Two great jokes, Rhonda! Somehow I missed seeing the one before this.

Blonde on a Plane

A blonde is on a transatlantic flight. Halfway across the ocean, the pilot comes on the intercom and makes an announcement:

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We've encountered a mechanical problem - one of the engines has stopped working. We're in no danger, since we still have three perfectly functional engines. But I'm afraid it means we'll be landing an hour later than expected."

Not long after, the pilot comes on again:

"Engine number two has also shut down. There's no cause for alarm, since we still have two other working engines. But we'll be landing two hours later than planned."

Soon, yet another announcement, and this time there's a trace of fear in the pilot's voice:

"We've lost engine number three. We still have one good engine, so we're in no danger... I hope. But we'll be landing three hours later than expected."

Moments later the pilot comes on again, this time in full-blown panic:

"MAYDAY, MAYDAY! WE'VE LOST OUR LAST ENGINE! MAYDAY!"

The blonde turns to her seatmate and says, "Oh great, now we're gonna be up here all day!"

:Hahaha: OH MY GOSH ROB!!!

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone dies. As they stand at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter paradise and meet their maker, God decides to grant each person one wish because of the grief they have experienced.

They all line up, and God asks the first person what the wish is.

"I want to be gorgeous." God snaps his fingers, and it is done. The second one in line hears this and says, "I want to be gorgeous, too." God snaps his fingers again and the wish is granted.

This goes on for a while, with each one asking to be gorgeous. When God is halfway down the line, the last guy in the line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, still laughing.

Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be.

The guy calms down and says, "Make them all ugly again."


:Hahaha::Hahaha::Hahaha:

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe...as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree.

Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to get her medical assistance.

Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from a large, old house. He approaches the door and knocks.
A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts, "hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty. We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone?"

"I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. My master is a doctor; come in and I will get him!"
Bob brings his wife in.

An older man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had a basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory."

With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table.

After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried. "Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more.

The Hills' deaths upset Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano. For it is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting melody fills the house.

Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch, keeping time to the haunting piano music. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise, marking the beat! He is further amazed as Betty and Bob both sit up straight!

Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory.

He bursts in and shouts to his master:

"Master,Master! The Hills are alive with the sound of music!"

Rhonda!