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Savannah
"Psalm 34"
Joined : 07 Sep 2006
Posts : 13522
Location : Sheltered in the arms of God
Mood : 
|  Subject: That's so punny!  Mon Feb 26, 2007 8:51 am | |
| A friend of mine sent these to me, and since I love puns, they gave me a good laugh!
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony
wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but
don't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A
beer please, and one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste
funny to you?"
7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That
sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to
look at either.
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find
any.
12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you
can't - I've cut off your arms!"
13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says
"Dam!"
16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your
kayak and heat it too.
17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in
the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour,
the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why,"
they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts
boasting in an open foyer."
18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a
family in Egypt and he is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain
; they name him "Juan."
Year's later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon
receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a
picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan,
you've seen Ahmal."
19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little
which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad
breath. This made him..... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by
halitosis.
20. And finally. there was this person who sent twenty different puns to his
friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.
_________________
  
Pray hardest when it's hardest to pray. |
|   | | Rhonda
Prairie Survivor
Joined : 07 Sep 2006
Posts : 6346
Location : Out of My Mind!!
Mood : 
| | Subject: Re: That's so punny! Mon Feb 26, 2007 9:01 am | |
| PUNNY Savannah!!!! I LOVE puns!!!! 
_________________
  
 SURVIVOR-10 YEAR REMISSION-APRIL 9, 1998-2008-CELEBRATE! |
| | | | Carol
Adventure Seeker
Joined : 03 Sep 2006
Posts : 3724
Location : California Country
Mood : 
Character
Name: Kate Thorvald
| | Subject: Re: That's so punny! Mon Feb 26, 2007 9:10 am | |
| :jumprope: LOL!!!
_________________
 |
| | | | Rob
Ingalls Friend for Life
Joined : 20 Feb 2007
Posts : 3349
Location : Michigan
Mood : 
Character
Name:
| | Subject: Re: That's so punny! Mon Feb 26, 2007 10:43 am | |
| Great, Savannah! 
Reminds me of the time that Pope John Paul II was touring America. On a visit to Atlanta, he was presented with a beautiful ring. Shortly afterward it turned up missing. Everyone was busy, though, so the papal aides promised they'd look for it later.
They promptly forgot about it. Then on the plane back to Vatican City, a Beatles song came on the radio. "Hey, that reminds me," said one of the aides. "Where did John Paul's Georgian ring go?"
 |
| | | | Rhonda
Prairie Survivor
Joined : 07 Sep 2006
Posts : 6346
Location : Out of My Mind!!
Mood :
| | Subject: Re: That's so punny! Mon Feb 26, 2007 10:58 am | |
| | Rob wrote: | Great, Savannah!
Reminds me of the time that Pope John Paul II was touring America. On a visit to Atlanta, he was presented with a beautiful ring. Shortly afterward it turned up missing. Everyone was busy, though, so the papal aides promised they'd look for it later.
They promptly forgot about it. Then on the plane back to Vatican City, a Beatles song came on the radio. "Hey, that reminds me," said one of the aides. "Where did John Paul's Georgian ring go?"
|
_________________
SURVIVOR-10 YEAR REMISSION-APRIL 9, 1998-2008-CELEBRATE! |
| | | | Debbie
"Remember Me"
Age : 28
Joined : 07 Sep 2006
Posts : 2650
Mood : 
Character
Name: Mary Ingalls
| | Subject: Re: That's so punny! Mon Feb 26, 2007 1:32 pm | |
| 
_________________
 |
| | | | Savannah
"Psalm 34"
Joined : 07 Sep 2006
Posts : 13522
Location : Sheltered in the arms of God
Mood :
| | Subject: Re: That's so punny! Mon Feb 26, 2007 5:24 pm | |
| Rob!!
_________________
Pray hardest when it's hardest to pray. |
| | | | LM
Frontier Traveler
Age : 40
Joined : 20 Feb 2007
Posts : 572
Location : Bama ~ USA ~ Planet Earth
Mood : 
| | Subject: Re: That's so punny! Mon Feb 26, 2007 6:22 pm | |
| | Rob wrote: | Great, Savannah!
Reminds me of the time that Pope John Paul II was touring America. On a visit to Atlanta, he was presented with a beautiful ring. Shortly afterward it turned up missing. Everyone was busy, though, so the papal aides promised they'd look for it later.
They promptly forgot about it. Then on the plane back to Vatican City, a Beatles song came on the radio. "Hey, that reminds me," said one of the aides. "Where did John Paul's Georgian ring go?"
|
_________________
LM
"If you can't be good, be good at it." |
| | | | LM
Frontier Traveler
Age : 40
Joined : 20 Feb 2007
Posts : 572
Location : Bama ~ USA ~ Planet Earth
Mood :
| | Subject: Re: That's so punny! Mon Feb 26, 2007 6:23 pm | |
| | Savannah wrote: | A friend of mine sent these to me, and since I love puns, they gave me a good laugh!
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony
wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but
don't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A
beer please, and one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste
funny to you?"
7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That
sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to
look at either.
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find
any.
12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you
can't - I've cut off your arms!"
13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says
"Dam!"
16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your
kayak and heat it too.
17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in
the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour,
the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why,"
they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts
boasting in an open foyer."
18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a
family in Egypt and he is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain
; they name him "Juan."
Year's later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon
receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a
picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan,
you've seen Ahmal."
19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little
which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad
breath. This made him..... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by
halitosis.
20. And finally. there was this person who sent twenty different puns to his
friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.
|
18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a
family in Egypt and he is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain
; they name him "Juan."
Year's later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon
receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a
picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan,
you've seen Ahmal."
_________________
LM
"If you can't be good, be good at it." |
| | | | JW
Isaiah Edwards
Joined : 13 Oct 2006
Posts : 4490
Mood : 
Character
Name: Isaiah Edwards
| | Subject: Re: That's so punny! Tue Feb 27, 2007 8:08 am | |
| Punny
_________________
 
Sunny days seem to hurt the most
Wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughing in the rain
Still can't believe you're gone ~~Kenny Chesney~~ |
| | | | Rob
Ingalls Friend for Life
Joined : 20 Feb 2007
Posts : 3349
Location : Michigan
Mood :
Character
Name:
| | Subject: Re: That's so punny! Tue Feb 27, 2007 7:41 pm | |
| Back in Biblical times, there was a whale and a sardine who were close friends.
One day the Lord wanted to talk to the whale, but He couldn't find him. So He asked the sardine if he knew of his whereabouts.
The sardine answered, "Am I my blubber's kipper?"  |
| | | | LM
Frontier Traveler
Age : 40
Joined : 20 Feb 2007
Posts : 572
Location : Bama ~ USA ~ Planet Earth
Mood :
| | Subject: Re: That's so punny! Tue Feb 27, 2007 8:06 pm | |
| Cute!
_________________
LM
"If you can't be good, be good at it." |
| | | | Rhonda
Prairie Survivor
Joined : 07 Sep 2006
Posts : 6346
Location : Out of My Mind!!
Mood :
| | Subject: Re: That's so punny! Wed Feb 28, 2007 6:57 am | |
| | Rob wrote: | Back in Biblical times, there was a whale and a sardine who were close friends.
One day the Lord wanted to talk to the whale, but He couldn't find him. So He asked the sardine if he knew of his whereabouts.
The sardine answered, "Am I my blubber's kipper?" |
That story sounds a little fishy to me Rob........... 
_________________
SURVIVOR-10 YEAR REMISSION-APRIL 9, 1998-2008-CELEBRATE! |
| | | | Savannah
"Psalm 34"
Joined : 07 Sep 2006
Posts : 13522
Location : Sheltered in the arms of God
Mood :
| | Subject: Re: That's so punny! Wed Feb 28, 2007 8:46 am | |
| Oh my word........my sides!! You're killing me! :ROTFL22:
_________________
Pray hardest when it's hardest to pray. |
| | | | Rhonda
Prairie Survivor
Joined : 07 Sep 2006
Posts : 6346
Location : Out of My Mind!!
Mood :
| | Subject: Re: That's so punny! Wed Feb 28, 2007 8:51 am | |
| I like the story about the little boy that went to the ball game and decided to climb up the flag pole to see the game better. He was so overwhelmed and proud that the crowd thought so much of him, by the way they all stood up and in unison sang out to him...."Jose, can you see....?" ****by the dawn's early light.......****
_________________
SURVIVOR-10 YEAR REMISSION-APRIL 9, 1998-2008-CELEBRATE! |
| | | | Rob
Ingalls Friend for Life
Joined : 20 Feb 2007
Posts : 3349
Location : Michigan
Mood :
Character
Name:
| | Subject: Re: That's so punny! Wed Feb 28, 2007 9:38 am | |
| Good one, Rhonda!
I once heard a true story about a little girl who was saying the Pledge of Allegiance. "...and to the republic for which it stands, one naked individual, with liberty and justice for all." |
| | | | Rhonda
Prairie Survivor
Joined : 07 Sep 2006
Posts : 6346
Location : Out of My Mind!!
Mood :
| | Subject: Re: That's so punny! Wed Feb 28, 2007 9:49 am | |
| | Rob wrote: | Good one, Rhonda!
I once heard a true story about a little girl who was saying the Pledge of Allegiance. "...and to the republic for which it stands, one naked individual, with liberty and justice for all." |
The real stories are the best ones.......
When my youngest, Josh (17 in May) was 4, he was playing T-Ball, and he had watched his older brothers play ball and he knew that when the game was over, whether you won or loss, you were going to get to go to the concession stand and get a drink or some candy. This one time after his game was over, he took off running and I grabbed him by his uniform shirt and asked him just where did he think he was going all by himself. He looked up at me with those big brown eyes and a toothy grin and said, "I'm going to the confession stand mom!" I was laughing so hard, I just let him go on......
Then when I went thru my cancer the first time, he was just 5, and between going over to grandmas to eat with her and his Pa Don, who eats Jalapeņos on just about everything and me having my chemotherapy treatments every month, he got mixed up, but did his best to show his concern for me..........Usually after the boys got off to school, I would climb back in bed, except for the mornings I was to go in for my chemo treatments, then I got out of my jammers and dressed to go......Josh noticed me dressed and he knew I was leaving soon after he left on the bus and he asked me, "Mom, are you going for your Jalapeņo treatment?"
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SURVIVOR-10 YEAR REMISSION-APRIL 9, 1998-2008-CELEBRATE! |
| | | | sweetheart
Ingalls Friend for Life
Age : 25
Joined : 15 Feb 2007
Posts : 3644
Location : canada
Mood :
| | Subject: Re: That's so punny! Wed Feb 28, 2007 11:12 am | |
| | lol |
| | | | JW
Isaiah Edwards
Joined : 13 Oct 2006
Posts : 4490
Mood :
Character
Name: Isaiah Edwards
| | Subject: Re: That's so punny! Wed Feb 28, 2007 12:12 pm | |
| lol again
_________________
Sunny days seem to hurt the most
Wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughing in the rain
Still can't believe you're gone ~~Kenny Chesney~~ |
| | | | Carol
Adventure Seeker
Joined : 03 Sep 2006
Posts : 3724
Location : California Country
Mood :
Character
Name: Kate Thorvald
| | Subject: Re: That's so punny! Wed Feb 28, 2007 1:05 pm | |
| | Rob wrote: | | I once heard a true story about a little girl who was saying the Pledge of Allegiance. "...and to the republic for which it stands, one naked individual, with liberty and justice for all." |
LOL!!
| Rhonda wrote: | | "Mom, are you going for your Jalapeņo treatment?"[/b][/color] |
:ROTFL22:
_________________
|
| | | | Rob
Ingalls Friend for Life
Joined : 20 Feb 2007
Posts : 3349
Location : Michigan
Mood :
Character
Name:
| | Subject: Re: That's so punny! Wed Feb 28, 2007 2:38 pm | |
| Those are great stories, Rhonda!  |
| | | | Rhonda
Prairie Survivor
Joined : 07 Sep 2006
Posts : 6346
Location : Out of My Mind!!
Mood :
| | Subject: Re: That's so punny! Fri Mar 02, 2007 12:19 pm | |
| Would this be called a Hare Raising experience? --------> 
_________________
SURVIVOR-10 YEAR REMISSION-APRIL 9, 1998-2008-CELEBRATE! |
| | | | ChristinaAL
Little House Lady
Joined : 21 Sep 2006
Posts : 2186
Mood :
Character
Name: Michelle Pierson
| | Subject: Re: That's so punny! Fri Mar 02, 2007 2:14 pm | |
| ROFL! Those are too funny. I loved your stories, Rhonda!
_________________
 
Take me back to Walnut Grove, I became Albert Ingalls there |
| | | | Misti
Red Hummingbird
Joined : 08 Oct 2006
Posts : 2404
Location : Texas
Mood : 
| | Subject: Re: That's so punny! Fri Mar 02, 2007 8:26 pm | |
| This isn't a pun, but I thought it was a cute joke...
I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee, and
A 1 lb. package of bacon.
As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."
I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: "Well, you know what, you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."
_________________
  
"I would fight for you - I'd lie for you - walk the wire for you - ya I'd die for you..." |
| | | | Rob
Ingalls Friend for Life
Joined : 20 Feb 2007
Posts : 3349
Location : Michigan
Mood :
Character
Name:
| | Subject: Re: That's so punny! Sat Mar 03, 2007 9:45 am | |
| | Love it, Misti! |
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