My Sad Day

Subject: My Sad Day Mon Mar 05, 2007 1:45 pm

Today marks the 4th anniversary of my dad's passing. He died of cancer 4 years ago in the house at 3am. Mom and I witnessed his gasp for last breath and it was a horrible experience to go through.

Everything played out so slowly in my head today seeing him returned from the hospital at 7pm after 2 weeks there; ate his last dinner at around 9pm; even took his last medication at around midnight; at 2:50am Mom called me out aloud because he was gasping for air, being that he was in the hospice care program, it was agreed not to call the ambulance; a visiting nurse was notified and arrived at 4am and pronounced his death time at 4:05am, but mom and I looked at the clock when he took his last breath which was at 3:05am, also seeing the funeral guys took his body out of the house at 5am.

This morning mom and I went to the cemetary, we placed the flowers there, said a nice prayer. Normally I would hold mom's hands and comfort her, but for some reason today I felt so sad, I just couldn't control myself crying there, ended up with mom comforting me.

I do feel a little better now, but just that the whole day I have no energy. Seems like I miss him more and more as the years go by, people say that time heals everything, but I always believe that it only makes it easier but it'll never heal.

Sorry I'm venting today...
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"Within the heart of every stray, lies the singular desire to be loved."

Subject: Re: My Sad Day Mon Mar 05, 2007 1:57 pm

Oh Lily

{{{HUGS}}}

That will always be in your memory. It was good of you to release your emotions today at the cemetary. It's alright

Sometimes a good cry helps you feel a little better afterwards.

May your father rest in peace. Even though he is no longer with us, his memory is very much alive through you and your mom and everyone who cared for him.

So you don't feel too sad, try and remember the good times, write in your diary about it, it always helps.
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Subject: Re: My Sad Day Mon Mar 05, 2007 2:07 pm

{{{Lily}}} I'm so sorry, Lily. Vent all that you want to, sweetie.
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Pray hardest when it's hardest to pray.

Subject: Re: My Sad Day Mon Mar 05, 2007 2:13 pm

You know you can get all the comfort you need right here Lily. You will miss him for a long. long time, he was your father. Dads are special to their little girls.....always hold on to the wonderful memories you have of him. He will ALWAYS be in your heart. And, we are here for you..... rainbowfaces

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SURVIVOR-10 YEAR REMISSION-APRIL 9, 1998-2008-CELEBRATE!

Subject: Re: My Sad Day Mon Mar 05, 2007 3:52 pm

aww,i'am sorry you had such a hard day....

Subject: Re: My Sad Day Mon Mar 05, 2007 4:27 pm

I totally understand where you're coming from. My mom has been gone for over 20 years now and on that day I find myself a bit sad. I wonder how my life might have turned out if she had lived because she died when I was only 14.

I am thinking of you and praying that you feel better soon. Try to think of all the good memories you have of your Dad and know that he is at peace.

Email me anytime.

Cheryl
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All my life, I wanted to be like you - Laura to Ma in The Last Farewell

Frontier Traveler Joined : 26 Feb 2007 Posts : 343 Mood :

Lily, I'm sorry that you had such a rough day. My grandmother passed away several years ago and I still ache inside when I think about her. It sounds like you have wonderful memories of your father and that is wonderful!!
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Subject: Re: My Sad Day Mon Mar 05, 2007 6:05 pm

Lily, I'm so sorry that you had such a hard day.. I know, personally how hard that "anniversary" is. Know that you are not alone, and cherish all of the wonderful memories that you have.
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Subject: Re: My Sad Day Mon Mar 05, 2007 11:18 pm

Hello, Lily.

I do hope you're feeling even better than you did right after posting your message. You'll be okay. It's hard, but you'll make it. It's alright

I lost my mom to cancer four years ago this month, too. She passed away on March 30th, 2003. The call from the hospital came at 2:33am for us to hurry over. She was gone when we got there. Notice all the "3's"? That's another story within itself that I deal with.
Anyway...
My mom was my best friend and like a sister to me. So, I know a bit of what you're going through.

Here's hoping and praying that you and yours will have peace, and know that your dad is always with you. Love

I know we don't know each other, but if you feel any connection and a need to vent, I'm here with the rest of the gang. group hug

Take care.
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LM

"If you can't be good, be good at it."

Subject: Re: My Sad Day Tue Mar 06, 2007 6:59 am

Oh Lily I Hope you fell better soon
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Anne Shirley: Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it.

Subject: Re: My Sad Day Tue Mar 06, 2007 8:03 am

{{{{{HUGS}}}} Lily. I am so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you were able to go to visit the cemetary and get your feelings out and that your mom was there for you. Sometimes it works out that way, where one is strong for the other. And nobody can understand like two people who were so close to the one they lost.

We're here for you anytime you need to vent.
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Subject: Re: My Sad Day Tue Mar 06, 2007 7:00 pm

Thank you so much everyone for all of your kind and sweet words, they mean a lot to me, brought tears to my eyes. You guys are the best of the best, it's such a great feeling to know that when one's sad or down, can always come here for support.

Today I feel much better, maybe because I did let it all out yesterday. I never cried at the funeral mainly because I wanted to compose myself in front of my girls, I didn't want them to get overwhelmed because they were 4 and 5 at the time. I told them that Grandpa was sleeping, my little one thought it was kind of strange and asked: "How come Grandpa didn't change to his PJ's?" LOL

Thanks again everyone!!! Wave

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"Within the heart of every stray, lies the singular desire to be loved."

Subject: Re: My Sad Day Wed Mar 07, 2007 1:49 am

I'm glad you're feeling better. What your baby said about the PJ's...that's very cute. LOL!

Take care.
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LM

"If you can't be good, be good at it."

Subject: Re: My Sad Day Wed Mar 07, 2007 4:30 am

Sorry I'm playing catch-up but hope you're feeling much better now, Lily. Anniversaries are always tough. What I love about this place is that no matter how bad you're feeling, there's always someone here to 'talk' to and share things with. And I'm a great believer in having a good old cry! Sometimes it does wonders for the spirit!

Subject: Re: My Sad Day Thu Mar 08, 2007 1:29 pm

Thank you LM and Maureen!!! Wave

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"Within the heart of every stray, lies the singular desire to be loved."

Subject: Re: My Sad Day Thu Mar 08, 2007 11:38 pm

You're very welcome! Wave

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LM

"If you can't be good, be good at it."