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 How old should a kids be left at home alone?

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Lily
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PostSubject: How old should a kids be left at home alone?   How old should a kids be left at home alone? EmptyMon Jun 23, 2008 9:59 am

becuz this 12 year was taken away from her home and put into a foster care.Becuz her mother works so late like from 6ish in the morning to like 9am at nite...(so no one to look afther her) I don't know were her father is he seemed to have disspeared or something!...(theses are people who live next door)

I just feel bad for the girl!:
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bethandmanly
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PostSubject: Re: How old should a kids be left at home alone?   How old should a kids be left at home alone? EmptyMon Jun 23, 2008 10:17 am

Well, I can understand how hard it can be to find a good person to watch over your kid while you're working--I was a single parent for 11 years--but you can't leave a girl that age alone for that length of time.

It's too bad this happened. I'll be praying for them.


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PostSubject: Re: How old should a kids be left at home alone?   How old should a kids be left at home alone? EmptyMon Jun 23, 2008 12:05 pm

yeah i know, it's ok to leave a child for a few hours!..wow that must be hard to be a single parent!
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bethandmanly
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PostSubject: Re: How old should a kids be left at home alone?   How old should a kids be left at home alone? EmptyMon Jun 23, 2008 1:31 pm

It's hard enough to be a two-parent family, never mind going it alone. I always admire those who can handle it.


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PostSubject: Re: How old should a kids be left at home alone?   How old should a kids be left at home alone? EmptyMon Jun 23, 2008 2:43 pm

Wow, that is so sad. I sympathize with the mom because you know the financial situation is super tight, but leaving a kid from 6am-9pm is simply not parenting. I started leaving my kids at the age of 11, maybe for an hour to go to the grocery store. Then at age 12, I would leave for slightly longer amounts of time. This year my son is 13 and babysits other children for short periods of time too. He even sat for other kids a couple of times last year, at the age of 12. So much depends on a kid's maturity level, and the amount of time left for.

The 12 year old girl you're speaking of though, sweetheart, definitely needs better care. I can see maybe doing that in a major pinch for one day, but if this is a daily basis, that is neglect and that State is doing their job.


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PostSubject: Re: How old should a kids be left at home alone?   How old should a kids be left at home alone? EmptyMon Jun 23, 2008 2:59 pm

Amy wrote:
Wow, that is so sad. I sympathize with the mom because you know the financial situation is super tight, but leaving a kid from 6am-9pm is simply not parenting. I started leaving my kids at the age of 11, maybe for an hour to go to the grocery store. Then at age 12, I would leave for slightly longer amounts of time. This year my son is 13 and babysits other children for short periods of time too. He even sat for other kids a couple of times last year, at the age of 12. So much depends on a kid's maturity level, and the amount of time left for.

The 12 year old girl you're speaking of though, sweetheart, definitely needs better care. I can see maybe doing that in a major pinch for one day, but if this is a daily basis, that is neglect and that State is doing their job.

Yeah i totally agree with you on that!.Leaving children for mybe like an hour or 2 i think is fine and like leaving phone numbers or parents cell number to call if needed is what you should do! and yes i have to agree again it does matter on the maturity level of the kid!


I don't know the whole story on what happned! there could be more less to it..I just heard she was taken from her home..i just felt bad for her...I don't really know the family so i can't really judge....
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PostSubject: Re: How old should a kids be left at home alone?   How old should a kids be left at home alone? EmptyMon Jun 23, 2008 3:00 pm

sweetheart wrote:
Amy wrote:
Wow, that is so sad. I sympathize with the mom because you know the financial situation is super tight, but leaving a kid from 6am-9pm is simply not parenting. I started leaving my kids at the age of 11, maybe for an hour to go to the grocery store. Then at age 12, I would leave for slightly longer amounts of time. This year my son is 13 and babysits other children for short periods of time too. He even sat for other kids a couple of times last year, at the age of 12. So much depends on a kid's maturity level, and the amount of time left for.

The 12 year old girl you're speaking of though, sweetheart, definitely needs better care. I can see maybe doing that in a major pinch for one day, but if this is a daily basis, that is neglect and that State is doing their job.

Yeah i totally agree with you on that!.Leaving children for mybe like an hour or 2 i think is fine and like leaving phone numbers or parents cell number to call if needed is what you should do! and yes i have to agree again it does matter on the maturity level of the kid!


I don't know the whole story on what happned! there could be more less to it..I just heard she was taken from her home..i just felt bad for her...I don't really know the family so i can't really judge....
buti guess mybe there must of been a reason why she was taken from her home!
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PostSubject: Re: How old should a kids be left at home alone?   How old should a kids be left at home alone? EmptyMon Jun 23, 2008 3:36 pm

my mom still hates to leave me at home by my self.......And I can drive! lol Just all the 'what if'.' She has started leaving me at home more by my self, but I always have a way to get in touch with her when she is gone. Usually I only stay at home if someone is sick, and she has to go to town, while I take care of them.

that is really sad about the little girl..... No


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PostSubject: Re: How old should a kids be left at home alone?   How old should a kids be left at home alone? EmptyMon Jun 23, 2008 4:25 pm

Amy wrote:
Wow, that is so sad. I sympathize with the mom because you know the financial situation is super tight, but leaving a kid from 6am-9pm is simply not parenting. I started leaving my kids at the age of 11, maybe for an hour to go to the grocery store. Then at age 12, I would leave for slightly longer amounts of time. This year my son is 13 and babysits other children for short periods of time too. He even sat for other kids a couple of times last year, at the age of 12. So much depends on a kid's maturity level, and the amount of time left for.

The 12 year old girl you're speaking of though, sweetheart, definitely needs better care. I can see maybe doing that in a major pinch for one day, but if this is a daily basis, that is neglect and that State is doing their job.


:agree:

Yeah, Devin was the same age, 11, when I started leaving him for short periods of time. Now, at 14, he'll be home with Kelsey for even up to a few hours. Which is easy enough, because at 9 3/4, Kelsey is pretty independant. :lol!:

But I agree too, I think that is just way too much time alone. And I do sympathize as well, I can't imagine how difficult being a single parent would be.


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Prairie Wind
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PostSubject: Re: How old should a kids be left at home alone?   How old should a kids be left at home alone? EmptyMon Jun 23, 2008 4:35 pm

I was left alone like that a lot- even as a younger child. Oh, the crazy things I would do! So dangerous! And oh how lonely I would get- especially being home alone when I was sick. Blue

Too bad the authorities couldn't have helped your neighbor work something out instead of removing the child... How traumatic!
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PostSubject: Re: How old should a kids be left at home alone?   How old should a kids be left at home alone? EmptyMon Jun 23, 2008 4:47 pm

We leave our 3 younger boys with our oldest son Zachary. He will be 16 next month. It's no more than a few hours at a time. Zachary does really well when in charge.

Farmer Girl.....I'm the same way with my boys. I worry about them all the time. It drives my husband crazy sometimes. :unsure:
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PostSubject: Re: How old should a kids be left at home alone?   How old should a kids be left at home alone? EmptyMon Jun 23, 2008 6:05 pm

That's terrible! And unfair, too, if you ask me.

My parents left me home alone often. Starting from age eight, I remember. And I don't think they were at all irresponsible. There were even a couple of times when they had to tend to important business and left me and my older cousin by three years alone for a few days. Nothing happened. The house did not burn down. We were not kidnapped. It wasn't at all child endangerment or whatever they call it. . .And plus, leaving your kids alone like the Spartans did for a amounts of time builds independence, doesn't it?

To answer your question in the title, I think it doesn't really matter how old the kid is. It depends more on how mature they are.

And I feel bad for the mother too. Having your kid taken away while you were at work must have been a shock. It's understandable that she has to leave her kid for a while though that many hours is quite long.
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PostSubject: Re: How old should a kids be left at home alone?   How old should a kids be left at home alone? EmptyMon Jun 23, 2008 9:30 pm

Every 12-year-old is different, some are more mature than the others. But leaving her for a whole day, even if she's mature enough to handle it, seems like abandonment. We say it's cruel to leave a pet that long, let alone a 12-year-old girl! It's funny how a 12-year-old back in the days was way matured than some of the 16-year-olds today.


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Last edited by Lily on Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:34 pm; edited 2 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: How old should a kids be left at home alone?   How old should a kids be left at home alone? EmptyMon Jun 23, 2008 9:31 pm

You're lucky you said SOME 16 Year old lol Cause i think i'm diffrent then most Kids these days in my age


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Lily
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PostSubject: Re: How old should a kids be left at home alone?   How old should a kids be left at home alone? EmptyMon Jun 23, 2008 9:33 pm

I actually find you very mature for your age, Jacob! Wink


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PostSubject: Re: How old should a kids be left at home alone?   How old should a kids be left at home alone? EmptyMon Jun 23, 2008 9:35 pm

Oh Thanks


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PostSubject: Re: How old should a kids be left at home alone?   How old should a kids be left at home alone? EmptyMon Jun 23, 2008 9:36 pm

Yes, all day, every day is too much. It wasn't a one-time thing. Things are dangerous for kids, and it's not wise to pretend otherwise. I'm sure that her mother, given the chance, would MUCH rather have had someone making sure that her daughter was safe - an adult taking care of her, fixing her healthy meals, making sure she got to bed at a decent time, keeping an eye on what she's watching, and who she's talking to online.....The things a parent SHOULD do. Even a mature twelve-year-old should NOT be expected to take on the responsiblities of an adult. They don't have the life experience or wisdom. BUT....I agree that protective services should have helped them, rather than traumatizing the young girl. But, I've found that protective services does little to protect, and even less to serve. At least, in my area, that's the case.
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PostSubject: Re: How old should a kids be left at home alone?   How old should a kids be left at home alone? EmptyMon Jun 23, 2008 10:36 pm

my mom leaves us at home but not for a long time. that is sad about that girl getting taken away. i feel bad for her and her mom.


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PostSubject: Re: How old should a kids be left at home alone?   How old should a kids be left at home alone? EmptyMon Jun 23, 2008 11:23 pm

I think it is too young a age to be left all day. I think I`d still worry no matter what age but maybe 17 is a better age to leaving them for long lenghts of time BUT some mature sooner than others.


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PostSubject: Re: How old should a kids be left at home alone?   How old should a kids be left at home alone? EmptyTue Jun 24, 2008 5:37 am

I've been thinking about the "left home alone" instances in the Little house books....
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PostSubject: Re: How old should a kids be left at home alone?   How old should a kids be left at home alone? EmptyTue Jun 24, 2008 10:06 am

Savannah wrote:
Yes, all day, every day is too much. It wasn't a one-time thing. Things are dangerous for kids, and it's not wise to pretend otherwise. I'm sure that her mother, given the chance, would MUCH rather have had someone making sure that her daughter was safe - an adult taking care of her, fixing her healthy meals, making sure she got to bed at a decent time, keeping an eye on what she's watching, and who she's talking to online.....The things a parent SHOULD do. Even a mature twelve-year-old should NOT be expected to take on the responsiblities of an adult. They don't have the life experience or wisdom. BUT....I agree that protective services should have helped them, rather than traumatizing the young girl. But, I've found that protective services does little to protect, and even less to serve. At least, in my area, that's the case.

I agree with this completely. There are dangers in today's society that can not be compared to the pioneer days. Believe me, I worried every time about my boys when I left them, even for an hour, at the age of 11. But someone also mentioned about developing independence with your child, and I agree with that too. That's why I think it's actually healthy to do it from time to time. Not before the age of say, 10, though. I completely agree with Savannah and Holly about protective services doing something to actually help the situation, rather than putting the child and the mother (who it sounds like didn't have much choice in the matter) through this....look what it's going to cost the State anyway? Surely there must be a better solution. This is the kind of thing that I think we're going to see more and more of with this insane economy. People are going to be forced into making decisions, especially if they're a single parent....food, shelter, or child care? Which is the first to go? Scary. No


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PostSubject: Re: How old should a kids be left at home alone?   How old should a kids be left at home alone? EmptyTue Jun 24, 2008 8:12 pm

Savannah wrote:
Yes, all day, every day is too much. It wasn't a one-time thing. Things are dangerous for kids, and it's not wise to pretend otherwise. I'm sure that her mother, given the chance, would MUCH rather have had someone making sure that her daughter was safe - an adult taking care of her, fixing her healthy meals, making sure she got to bed at a decent time, keeping an eye on what she's watching, and who she's talking to online.....The things a parent SHOULD do. Even a mature twelve-year-old should NOT be expected to take on the responsiblities of an adult. They don't have the life experience or wisdom. BUT....I agree that protective services should have helped them, rather than traumatizing the young girl. But, I've found that protective services does little to protect, and even less to serve. At least, in my area, that's the case.

I agree with you girl!
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PostSubject: Re: How old should a kids be left at home alone?   How old should a kids be left at home alone? EmptyTue Jun 24, 2008 8:36 pm

JW wrote:
You're lucky you said SOME 16 Year old lol Cause i think i'm diffrent then most Kids these days in my age
I was thinking the same thing, Jacob! :unsure:


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PostSubject: Re: How old should a kids be left at home alone?   How old should a kids be left at home alone? EmptyTue Jun 24, 2008 8:55 pm

JW wrote:
You're lucky you said SOME 16 Year old lol Cause i think i'm diffrent then most Kids these days in my age

i always thought u were older then 16//like in urs 20s.....I agree you are very "grown up" for your age!
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