Post your Joke!

   

Lee, A seven-year-old boy, was asked to say thanks for the Christmas dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. Lee began his prayer, thanking God for his Mommy, Daddy, brothers, sister, Grandma, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food.

He gave thanks for the turkey, the stuffing, the Christmas pudding, even the cranberry sauce. Then lee paused, and everyone waited ... and waited. After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "If I thank God for the Brussels sprouts, won't he know that I'm lying?"

It was just before Christmas and the magistrate was in a happy mood. He asked Rob who was in the dock, 'What are you charged with?'

Rob replied, 'Doing my Christmas shopping too early.'

'That's no crime', said the magistrate. 'Just how early were you doing this shopping?'

'Before the shop opened', answered Rob.

Q. Why do reindeer scratch themselves?
A. Because they're the only ones who know where they itch.

The Santa Claus at the shopping mall was very surprised when a Julie, young lady aged about .35 years old walked up and sat on his lap.  Now, we all know that Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, 'What do you want for Christmas?'

'Something for my mother, please,' replied Julie sweetly.

'Something for your mother? Well, that's very loving and thoughtful of you,' smiled Santa. 'What do would you like me to bring her?'

Without turning a hair Julie answered quickly, 'A son-in-law and some grandchildren.'

   Why don't we add grandchildren to that too?

julmer70 wrote:

   Why don't we add grandchildren to that too?  

OK

Ah yes...Mom would love that! She's only been hinting for those things a lot lately... 

How does an alligator get on welfare?

Gatorade!

         

Describe the sound you hear when a sheep blows up!!

Sissss, Boooom, Baaaaah!

What did the dead raccoon say in his will?

"Leave it to Beaver"

What do you use to keep your ig from falling off?

Igloo.

Turkey! ahahahahahaha!!!!       

Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H?

A, B, C, D, E, F, G.

Q: What do you call Hershey's Prune Kisses?

The Sugarland Express.

Ha! Dave, did you write for Carnac the Magnificent?

Rob wrote:

Ha!  Dave, did you write for Carnac the Magnificent?

The secret is out!

There is a power struggle going on between President Obama's advisers. Moe and Curly are out. Larry is still in.

If life was fair, Elvis would still be alive and all the impersonators dead.

Know What An oxymoron is?...

A Moron that studied at Oxford!

You just totally made me think of Rob Lowe (because of the movie 'Oxford Blues!).