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 That's so punny!

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Savannah
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PostSubject: That's so punny!   Mon Feb 26, 2007 11:51 am

A friend of mine sent these to me, and since I love puns, they gave me a good laugh!





1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony
wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.



2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but
don't start anything."



3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.



4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.



5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A
beer please, and one for the road."



6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste
funny to you?"



7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That
sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."




9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to
look at either.



10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.



11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find
any.



12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you
can't - I've cut off your arms!"



13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.



14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.



15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says
"Dam!"



16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your
kayak and heat it too.



17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in
the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour,
the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why,"
they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts
boasting in an open foyer."



18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a
family in Egypt and he is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain
; they name him "Juan."

Year's later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon
receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a
picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan,
you've seen Ahmal."



19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little
which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad
breath. This made him..... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by
halitosis.



20. And finally. there was this person who sent twenty different puns to his
friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.






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Rhonda
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PostSubject: Re: That's so punny!   Mon Feb 26, 2007 12:01 pm

PUNNY Savannah!!!! I LOVE puns!!!! ROTFL



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Carol
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PostSubject: Re: That's so punny!   Mon Feb 26, 2007 12:10 pm

:jumprope: LOL!!!


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Rob
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PostSubject: Re: That's so punny!   Mon Feb 26, 2007 1:43 pm

Great, Savannah! Applause

Reminds me of the time that Pope John Paul II was touring America. On a visit to Atlanta, he was presented with a beautiful ring. Shortly afterward it turned up missing. Everyone was busy, though, so the papal aides promised they'd look for it later.

They promptly forgot about it. Then on the plane back to Vatican City, a Beatles song came on the radio. "Hey, that reminds me," said one of the aides. "Where did John Paul's Georgian ring go?"

:shifty:
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PostSubject: Re: That's so punny!   Mon Feb 26, 2007 1:58 pm

Rob wrote:
Great, Savannah! Applause

Reminds me of the time that Pope John Paul II was touring America. On a visit to Atlanta, he was presented with a beautiful ring. Shortly afterward it turned up missing. Everyone was busy, though, so the papal aides promised they'd look for it later.

They promptly forgot about it. Then on the plane back to Vatican City, a Beatles song came on the radio. "Hey, that reminds me," said one of the aides. "Where did John Paul's Georgian ring go?"

:shifty:




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PostSubject: Re: That's so punny!   Mon Feb 26, 2007 4:32 pm

:haha:
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Savannah
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PostSubject: Re: That's so punny!   Mon Feb 26, 2007 8:24 pm

ROTFL Rob!!
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LM
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PostSubject: Re: That's so punny!   Mon Feb 26, 2007 9:22 pm

Rob wrote:
Great, Savannah! Applause

Reminds me of the time that Pope John Paul II was touring America. On a visit to Atlanta, he was presented with a beautiful ring. Shortly afterward it turned up missing. Everyone was busy, though, so the papal aides promised they'd look for it later.

They promptly forgot about it. Then on the plane back to Vatican City, a Beatles song came on the radio. "Hey, that reminds me," said one of the aides. "Where did John Paul's Georgian ring go?"

:shifty:

:haha: :haha: :haha:





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PostSubject: Re: That's so punny!   Mon Feb 26, 2007 9:23 pm

Savannah wrote:
A friend of mine sent these to me, and since I love puns, they gave me a good laugh!





1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony
wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.



2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but
don't start anything."



3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.



4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.



5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A
beer please, and one for the road."



6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste
funny to you?"



7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That
sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."




9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to
look at either.



10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.



11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find
any.



12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you
can't - I've cut off your arms!"



13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.



14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.



15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says
"Dam!"



16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your
kayak and heat it too.



17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in
the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour,
the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why,"
they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts
boasting in an open foyer."



18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a
family in Egypt and he is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain
; they name him "Juan."

Year's later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon
receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a
picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan,
you've seen Ahmal."



19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little
which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad
breath. This made him..... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by
halitosis.



20. And finally. there was this person who sent twenty different puns to his
friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.








18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a
family in Egypt and he is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain
; they name him "Juan."

Year's later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon
receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a
picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan,
you've seen Ahmal."


ROTFL





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PostSubject: Re: That's so punny!   Tue Feb 27, 2007 11:08 am

Punny ROTFL


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Rob
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PostSubject: Re: That's so punny!   Tue Feb 27, 2007 10:41 pm

Back in Biblical times, there was a whale and a sardine who were close friends.

One day the Lord wanted to talk to the whale, but He couldn't find him. So He asked the sardine if he knew of his whereabouts.

The sardine answered, "Am I my blubber's kipper?" :unsure:
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LM
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PostSubject: Re: That's so punny!   Tue Feb 27, 2007 11:06 pm

Cute! :haha:





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Rhonda
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PostSubject: Re: That's so punny!   Wed Feb 28, 2007 9:57 am

Rob wrote:
Back in Biblical times, there was a whale and a sardine who were close friends.

One day the Lord wanted to talk to the whale, but He couldn't find him. So He asked the sardine if he knew of his whereabouts.

The sardine answered, "Am I my blubber's kipper?" :unsure:

That story sounds a little fishy to me Rob...........
OhMy



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Savannah
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PostSubject: Re: That's so punny!   Wed Feb 28, 2007 11:46 am

Oh my word........my sides!! You're killing me! :ROTFL22:
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Rhonda
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PostSubject: Re: That's so punny!   Wed Feb 28, 2007 11:51 am

I like the story about the little boy that went to the ball game and decided to climb up the flag pole to see the game better. He was so overwhelmed and proud that the crowd thought so much of him, by the way they all stood up and in unison sang out to him...."Jose, can you see....?" ****by the dawn's early light.......**** ROTFL



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Rob
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PostSubject: Re: That's so punny!   Wed Feb 28, 2007 12:38 pm

Good one, Rhonda!

I once heard a true story about a little girl who was saying the Pledge of Allegiance. "...and to the republic for which it stands, one naked individual, with liberty and justice for all."
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PostSubject: Re: That's so punny!   Wed Feb 28, 2007 12:49 pm

Rob wrote:
Good one, Rhonda!

I once heard a true story about a little girl who was saying the Pledge of Allegiance. "...and to the republic for which it stands, one naked individual, with liberty and justice for all."



The real stories are the best ones.......

When my youngest, Josh (17 in May) was 4, he was playing T-Ball, and he had watched his older brothers play ball and he knew that when the game was over, whether you won or loss, you were going to get to go to the concession stand and get a drink or some candy. This one time after his game was over, he took off running and I grabbed him by his uniform shirt and asked him just where did he think he was going all by himself. He looked up at me with those big brown eyes and a toothy grin and said, "I'm going to the confession stand mom!" I was laughing so hard, I just let him go on...... ROTFL

Then when I went thru my cancer the first time, he was just 5, and between going over to grandmas to eat with her and his Pa Don, who eats Jalapeños on just about everything and me having my chemotherapy treatments every month, he got mixed up, but did his best to show his concern for me..........Usually after the boys got off to school, I would climb back in bed, except for the mornings I was to go in for my chemo treatments, then I got out of my jammers and dressed to go......Josh noticed me dressed and he knew I was leaving soon after he left on the bus and he asked me, "Mom, are you going for your Jalapeño treatment?"
:haha:



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PostSubject: Re: That's so punny!   Wed Feb 28, 2007 3:12 pm

lol again


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Carol
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PostSubject: Re: That's so punny!   Wed Feb 28, 2007 4:05 pm

Rob wrote:
I once heard a true story about a little girl who was saying the Pledge of Allegiance. "...and to the republic for which it stands, one naked individual, with liberty and justice for all."

LOL!! ROTFL


Rhonda wrote:
"Mom, are you going for your Jalapeño treatment?"[/b][/color] :haha:

:ROTFL22:


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PostSubject: Re: That's so punny!   Wed Feb 28, 2007 5:38 pm

Those are great stories, Rhonda! Laughing
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PostSubject: Re: That's so punny!   Fri Mar 02, 2007 3:19 pm

:haha: Would this be called a Hare Raising experience? -------->



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PostSubject: Re: That's so punny!   Fri Mar 02, 2007 5:14 pm

ROFL! Those are too funny. I loved your stories, Rhonda!




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PostSubject: Re: That's so punny!   Fri Mar 16, 2007 7:26 am

A Good Pun is Its Own Reword

- A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

- Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

- Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

- A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

- Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

- Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

- Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.

- When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

- A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

- What's the definition of a will? (Come on, It's a dead giveaway!)

- A backward poet writes inverse.
Applause



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Savannah
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PostSubject: Re: That's so punny!   Fri Mar 16, 2007 11:42 am

ROTFL
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Rob
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PostSubject: Re: That's so punny!   Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:09 pm

Too funny, Rhonda! Laughing
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