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 8 Morons

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Lily
"Beautiful Life"



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PostSubject: 8 Morons   Sat Mar 17, 2007 7:28 pm

TOP 8 MORONS OF 2006

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland , CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka , Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "that's not what I said!"

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart". "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto , CA , Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!

8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.



NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.



Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!



"Within the heart of every stray, lies the singular desire to be loved."
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Rob
Nip it in the bud!
Nip it in the bud!


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PostSubject: Re: 8 Morons   Sat Mar 17, 2007 8:09 pm

I love these!
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Savannah
"Psalm 34"



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PostSubject: Re: 8 Morons   Sat Mar 17, 2007 8:29 pm

LOL - Thanks for the laugh, Lily! That last one is classic!
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ChristinaAL
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PostSubject: Re: 8 Morons   Sun Mar 18, 2007 1:55 am

I love these, too! Sometimes nothing is funnier than the truth! LOL, thanks, Lily! grinsmiley




"It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures and to be cheerful and have courage when things go wrong."
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Debbie
Mom Of 2 Kitties
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PostSubject: Re: 8 Morons   Sun Mar 18, 2007 7:01 am

lol :haha:
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Rhonda
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PostSubject: Re: 8 Morons   Sun Mar 18, 2007 8:57 am

Applause ROTFL These are always so funny to read!!



CANCER FREE!!!  April 9, 1998-April 9, 2016-I AM A SURVIVOR!!!
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LHDaisy
New Pioneer
New Pioneer


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PostSubject: Re: 8 Morons   Sun Mar 18, 2007 9:25 am

ROTFL
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Melissa
Frontier Traveler
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PostSubject: Re: 8 Morons   Sun Mar 18, 2007 6:46 pm

Oh these are great. They always say these on a segment called "Stupid News" on my local radio station.


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Buttercup
Ingalls Friend for Life
Ingalls Friend for Life


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PostSubject: Re: 8 Morons   Tue Jul 05, 2011 2:31 am

These are too funny. I love #2. ROTFL laugh3




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Krissy
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PostSubject: Re: 8 Morons   Thu Jan 26, 2012 7:44 pm

ROTFL oh my


“Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it... Yet.” ― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables
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Gin
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PostSubject: Re: 8 Morons   Thu Jan 26, 2012 8:22 pm

Thank goodness the two women with the boat weren't from Arkansas. That's a good one.




It is the lack of Christianity that has brought us where we are. Not a lack of churches or religious forms but of the real thing in our hearts. LIW.....Words From a Fearless Heart
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Krissy
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PostSubject: Re: 8 Morons   Thu Jan 26, 2012 8:23 pm

Ya. That's good


“Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it... Yet.” ― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables
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PostSubject: Re: 8 Morons   Today at 1:28 pm

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