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 one of those days

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ChristinaAL
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PostSubject: one of those days   Tue Mar 20, 2007 10:27 pm

I don't know why, but I just feel terrible today :( Yesterday was my first "regular" day at my new job (not training, like I did for the last 2 weeks), and I was nervous to begin with, but as I had to ask what seemed like a million questions, I really started to feel bad. For one thing, my actual boss (who hired me), does not like to "be bothered". Everyone has told me this - he really does not even talk to anyone during the day let alone answer questions, and the manager who is under him is the one who trained me who I went to for help. Trouble is, he wasn't there until 2.5 hours after I got in! There were a few instances where I couldn't do anything but wait for him to come in to ask him questions. I just feel like I don't know enough; I know this is an internship and I'm supposed to be learning along the way but I just feel like they except me to know more than I do and I'm just so nervous about doing it right that when I have issues, they seem worse than they actually are. Plus, I'm not sure how much I like this job - I'm sure my bad experience with it is a factor, but it just seems so monotonous and boring. Everything I do on the computer takes so much time, that again, at times I had to sit and wait for the programs to run before I could do anything with them. I feel like other people see me sitting there and think I'm not working when there's really nothing I could be doing. See how crazy I'm making myself?

Then today, I went to school. I had to make up 2 midterms that I missed when I was sick, and I'm sure I didn't do too well on them. I was sick and doing training the last 2 weeks so I really couldn't prepare as well as I would have liked to. Plus, the only time one teacher would let me take the test ran into another class time, so I had to rush from there to the other class, and I ended up falling up the concrete stairs and bruising my knees, and dropping my bag and spilling its contents everywhere. mad In my next class, I worked on a program that I will finish later in the week to submit. It was pretty close to being finished, so I saved it, but during the next class, my computer crashed and I lost the information :( My teacher is understanding about me submitting it late, but now I have to start over again from scratch :(

It's hard to balance school with my new job, although I don't really understand why. I'm working pretty much the same amount of hours I worked at my last job (just at different times), but I'm finding I'm so tired all the time, but then when I try to get to sleep, I can't. I lay awake half the night and end up only getting 5 hours sleep at most. I think I'm so worked up for the next day ahead that I worry myself so much that I can't sleep.

It's scaring me a little, b/c I'm starting to think why am I putting myself through this? I had a perfectly good job before; I need to complete this job (that counts as an internship) to get my degree, but if I don't like what I'm doing in the job, what is the point of putting all of this time into the degree? I just feel so overwhelmed that I'm not sure how to deal with it. I wanted to get my degree in hopes of getting a "better" job.

*Sigh*. Sorry for making this so long, I guess I'm having one of those days. I just wish it would be the summer already so I could at least have some experience at this job and not have to worry so much about it or school :(








"It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures and to be cheerful and have courage when things go wrong."
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PostSubject: Re: one of those days   Tue Mar 20, 2007 10:33 pm

AWWW.I'am really sorry you had such a bad day!! Don't give up all together!!the first days are always rough!!...You would think a boss would be there to help you!! I hope things get better for you!!! grouphug

The first day i babysite my cousin everything went wrong,but has the week went bye it got better..
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flatbroke
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PostSubject: Re: one of those days   Tue Mar 20, 2007 10:46 pm

Everybody gets nervous and frustrated about job and school issues when they occur Christina, so you are far from alone.

Most people like to cite examples they themselves have went through when helping someone in a situation like this, but I won't bore you with long tales. However, I will tell you this little piece of advice I try to live by...

Stop for a minute. Take stock of what you have right now, both good and bad. Then, take stock of where you want to be in life, and wether or not the road you're on will take you there, bearing in mind that every road has potholes along the way.

I'd really recommend finishing your degree, primarily because you've come so far already. As an intern, you're not seeing whatever it is that drew you to what you're doing in the first place. That comes later. I really enjoyed driving a truck, but I swept out a lot of trailers before I was ever to sit behind the wheel.

Hang in there Christina. We're pulling for you. :peace:
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Carol
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PostSubject: Re: one of those days   Wed Mar 21, 2007 12:00 am

:yeahthat:

It seems overwhelming because this job is new... but just don't give up... give it a little more time and see how it goes... when you start new things, it's not always easy... but most of the time, it does get better.. I hope it does for you Christina. We're here for ya! Smiley Hug


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bethandmanly
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PostSubject: Re: one of those days   Wed Mar 21, 2007 7:25 am

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time Christina. I never had to balance college and work, but I have spent 19 out of the past 20 years trying to balance a family and work, so I can understand exactly where you are coming from. It can be overwhelming at times and it is good to just sit back every once in a rare while to take stock of things. Rose Wilder Lane used to do that in her journals on an annual basis.

It is too bad that you don't have the suppport at work that you need. Your manager doesn't sound like a good one to me. He should be there to help you. But I guess he's human too.

My daughter has a series of angel books--booklets really--which have angels as friends of children who help the kids along in life. One of the angles is named Hope, and she helps the girl she watches over understand that bad days come to everyone, but that it is important to hold out hope that things will improve. Even I have found it helpful to read this short story at times.

Good luck with everything and remember--we're always here for you.

Cheryl


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pamh36
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PostSubject: Re: one of those days   Wed Mar 21, 2007 9:39 am

Awww, Christina, you're not kidding about one of those days. I'm sorry to hear that you had such a bad day.

I feel that the job will improve with time. It's still foreign to you, but as things start to feel familiar, it will get easier. By you asking questions it shows that you care about doing the job right way. It is not a bad reflection on you at all.

I definitely would not give up yet. Give it some time and see if it does get easier. Plus, if this is still the path you want to take, you can find a job that fits you better. That may just not be the right place.

If you do decide further on down the road that this is not what you want to do at all, see about talking to a couselor at school to find something that interests you, and that you can still use at least most of the classes you have taken towards a different kind of degree. For example, my degree will be an applied science degree in early childhood, but I could easily change it to a paraprofessional degree since the classes I would need are so similar. I have a friend who changed her major during college and she is very happy with the path she has chosen. But, just don't give up right away. Give yourself the time to decide the choice that is right for you. Sometimes things seem daunting as you are going through them, but once you've acheived them you think, "That really wasn't so bad." You feel empowered for having made it through.

I'm so much the same way with the sleep thing. If I have some kind of anxiety about something going on in my life, I can't let it go and lie awake at night just thinking about everything. Sometimes I wish there were a switch so that I can just turn my mind off at night to get some much needed sleep! *LOL* It's so frustrating.

As far as the exams, you did the best you could do. You ended up not having the free time you had hoped to have to be able to prepare for them, but you did the best you could with the time you had. Sometimes you may think you did worse than you did. You may be pleasantly surprised when you get those tests back. But just don't beat yourself up when there is no way you could have done things any differently.

Just hang in there and come and vent when things seem overwhelming and you need to get everything off your chest. That's why we're here!


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Rhonda
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PostSubject: Re: one of those days   Wed Mar 21, 2007 9:41 am

:alright: Christina, I am so sorry that things seem to be falling apart for you right now. I will pray that you have the strength to get through all of this. In the meantime, think positive thoughts and each day, look at your boss and think a funny thing about him as well....you will get a chuckle and the day will go faster.....Laughing



CANCER FREE!!!  April 9, 1998-April 9, 2016-I AM A SURVIVOR!!!
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MattLabMyLove
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PostSubject: Re: one of those days   Wed Mar 21, 2007 12:12 pm

Don't worry you are just going through a rought patch now. Things will be better soon. I had a rought time at the end of college too. But it's all over now. :) Good luck and I hope everything gets better soon. :)

Beckie


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Amy
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PostSubject: Re: one of those days   Wed Mar 21, 2007 3:11 pm

Christina, I'm so sorry about your recent crisis. I can't imagine the pressure you're under. Just try to think of this period as a 'drop in the bucket', a means to an end. Like the others were saying, it's overwhelming right now, but give it time. Take care!


“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”

~Mother Teresa
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ChristinaAL
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PostSubject: Re: one of those days   Wed Mar 21, 2007 10:15 pm

Thanks, everyone. You are all really the best, the collective advice you've given me has helped more than anything anyone else has said to me on this matter. I guess I wasn't thinking clearly yesterday b/c I was overwhelmed, but after working again today, and coming on here and reading these messages, I'm starting to put things in perspective a little better. It is helpful to think that I'm still learning and things will (hopefully) get easier, and even if they do, this is not necessarily the job where I will end up or want to be forever, but it's a step in getting there. It makes me feel a lot better to think of it that way. Thank you so much for the helpful advice, and kind thoughts. I love my prairie pals, I don't know what I would do without you guys! You are all such wonderful people and a great support system - I never would've imagined that 7 years ago, I'd start posting at a forum and end up forming such great friendships. I didn't think places like that existed in real life, let alone the internet. I'm so blessed to have you all! ::hugs::





"It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures and to be cheerful and have courage when things go wrong."
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PostSubject: Re: one of those days   Thu Mar 22, 2007 5:48 pm

Aww, thanks for the sweet message. :) Yes, there are a lot of internet forums out there with jerks on them. This is a major exception! grinsmiley

Beckie


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LHDaisy
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PostSubject: Re: one of those days   Thu Mar 22, 2007 6:18 pm

I'm very glad you are feeling better Christina![b]
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ChristinaAL
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PostSubject: Re: one of those days   Thu Mar 22, 2007 9:57 pm

Thanks Daisy. I actually was feeling pretty positive about going to work tomorrow, until I talked to my co-worker today, who is also an intern. We update each other on what new things we learned since we don't work the same days, and today he told me, "I feel bad telling you, but (our manager) said yesterday you had a bad day, and he had to fix one of the reports you did". So now, I'm feeling down about it again, and I'm really hoping I don't have a bad time once I get into work tomorrow. I guess there's nothing I can do about it now except wait. :sad5:







"It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures and to be cheerful and have courage when things go wrong."
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PostSubject: Re: one of those days   Thu Mar 22, 2007 10:15 pm

{{{Christina}}} You'll get through, Christina.

I missed your first posts when I was offline, and I'm still catching up on reading all of them. I hope things start to feel more peaceful for you. Keep hanging in there! You'll make it through. I'm praying for you.


Cheer We're cheering for you!


Last edited by on Thu Mar 22, 2007 10:41 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Amy
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PostSubject: Re: one of those days   Thu Mar 22, 2007 10:27 pm

Aw, Christina, that was the sweetest, most heart-felt message! I feel ya, sweetie! Love I can't believe how long I've been here either...I think I'm right behind ya at 6! OhMy I would never have guessed I'd find such nice friends on the internet either! :rainbowfaces:


“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”

~Mother Teresa
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ChristinaAL
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PostSubject: Re: one of those days   Sun Mar 25, 2007 6:45 pm

Thanks, Savannah and Amy. I really appreciate your prayers and kind thoughts :) I'm hoping this week will be better - I'm just trying not to worry too much and stay focused.

Oh, and about my error with the report Wednesday? On Friday, my manager told me about it, then said, "But I can understand why you made it. I wasn't clear in my directions, but I told (the other intern) yesterday". I couldn't believe it! LOL, so, this week my motto is going to be take everything with a grain of salt. I'll have to see how that works out.




"It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures and to be cheerful and have courage when things go wrong."
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PostSubject: Re: one of those days   Today at 10:02 pm

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