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 Crying Idol Girl

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JW
Isaiah Edwards
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PostSubject: Crying Idol Girl   Fri Mar 23, 2007 9:18 am

Idol's "Crying Girl" Brought Before Congress

LOS ANGELES, CA- This past Wednesday evening, America recoiled at the sight of 13-year-old Ashley Ferl screaming in Beatle-esque hysteria for famously crappy crooner Sanjaya Malakar. No less horrifying was the awkward hug that followed, causing Ferl to weep like, well, a 13-year-old girl.

Almost immediately, clues began to surface indicating that the incident might not have been perfectly genuine. By Thursday afternoon, a handful of audience members came forward with the claim that Ferl had actually been a plant, an allegation that, if true, could rock America's #1 televisual pastime to its very core.

Although participants in the rouse most likely thought it a harmless stunt, a cheap way to generate support for the affably tuneless singer, but in reality this is a very serious matter. If something isn't done soon to repair the show's shattered credibility, the nation's workforce might soon find themselves standing around the water-cooler with nothing to talk about.

In times of extreme crisis such as these, an anxious nation turns to its leaders for help. Heeding this silent call, Senators formed an ad-hoc committee to investigate the incident and issue dozens of subpoenas to key figures in the alleged fraud, including Ms. Ferl herself.

The first witnesses to testify laid out evidence of a long-running conspiracy to manipulate the outcome of the contest, Wednesday's weepy photo-op being only the most recent, and most patently obvious, example. The research appears to show that Malakar would not still be on the show at all if were not for a widespread Internet campaign encouraging viewers to vote for the worst possible candidates. In fact, this phenomenon might help to explain the outcomes of the last two Presidential elections.

Ferl arrived for her testimony sporting an American Idol T-shirt and a wide metallic grin, giddily holding up her hand and taking the oath.

"Weeeeoooooo!" squealed Ferl,. "This is pretty much the best thing ever!"

"Well, it's important that you tell us the truth today, Ms. Ferl," said Sen. Joe Barton (R. Texas). "You are, I assume, aware that if you lie to Congress under oath you will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law and probably go to jail for a long time even though you're a minor."

"What?" Ferl replied, her eyes wide. "I'm going to jail? What did I- I didn't do anything- I just wanted to be on TV- my best friend said that you can't - waaaaaaa!"

Waxman and the other Democrats were clearly furious with Barton for upsetting her so, and they tried valiantly to reassure her that no one was trying to get her into any trouble. Yet, nothing they said or did managed to calm her down. Richard Lugar (R. Indiana) even broke into a few verses of "Your Are My Sunshine," but his singing only reminded her of Sanjaya and why she was there in the first place, worsening her crying jag.

"Why are you all being so mean?" she asked, her sobs sending torrents of tears and mucus all over the witness table. "I just want- I wanna go home!"

With that, Waxman called the hearing to a close and excused the star witness. In all the commotion, however, members of the committee completely forgot to ask her whether or not she was, in fact, a plant.


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pamh36
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PostSubject: Re: Crying Idol Girl   Fri Mar 23, 2007 1:33 pm

*LOL* I saw her on the Today Show yesterday.


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PostSubject: Re: Crying Idol Girl   Fri Mar 23, 2007 2:28 pm

wow
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ChristinaAL
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PostSubject: Re: Crying Idol Girl   Sun Mar 25, 2007 2:07 pm

I don't understand exactly what happened. A 13-year-old girl auditioned for Idol, couldn't sing, and cried on the show as some sort of publicity stunt? I thought the competition was only open to 16 and older, and I don't see how this particular girl crying would be any different than the other hundreds who have done so in past years, LOL, I think I'm definitely missing something! Can someone help?




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PostSubject: Re: Crying Idol Girl   Sun Mar 25, 2007 2:45 pm

The girl wasn't a contestant. She was just a kid in the audience who was moved to tears by Sanjaya's performance. Nothing unusual in that, as most of us sob uncontrollably as we listen to him. But apparently she was moved in a good way. :unsure:
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ChristinaAL
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PostSubject: Re: Crying Idol Girl   Sun Mar 25, 2007 6:37 pm

LOL, I guess I would've known if I watched it more often :scratch: Thanks for clearing it up, Rob! :)




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Melissa
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PostSubject: Re: Crying Idol Girl   Sun Mar 25, 2007 9:21 pm

That's just really odd. Here's a brief clip of the girl on American Idol.



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ChristinaAL
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PostSubject: Re: Crying Idol Girl   Sun Mar 25, 2007 9:59 pm

Thanks for the clip. I don't understand why she was moved so deeply, but I've been known to cry at concerts myself. But, they were talented, reknowned singers that I had been fans of for years and was overwhelmed by the fact that I was hearing them in person. This one is a bit confusing though, LOL.




"It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures and to be cheerful and have courage when things go wrong."
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Amy
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PostSubject: Re: Crying Idol Girl   Mon Mar 26, 2007 3:07 pm

Rob wrote:
The girl wasn't a contestant. She was just a kid in the audience who was moved to tears by Sanjaya's performance. Nothing unusual in that, as most of us sob uncontrollably as we listen to him. But apparently she was moved in a good way. :unsure:

grinsmiley I'd have to agree with you on that one, Rob! LOL...the thing is, she was sobbing uncontrollably throughout the ENTIRE show....I watched the whole thing, and she was always a wreck! I didn't see her being any more so with Sanjaya, like the media is making her out to be. Whistle


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PostSubject: Re: Crying Idol Girl   Mon Mar 26, 2007 4:21 pm

Pleassseeeeeeee, Sanjaya is no Davy Jones or Donny Osmond.....Now those two you can cry over, but Sanjaya :sleep:


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PostSubject: Re: Crying Idol Girl   Mon Mar 26, 2007 4:29 pm

Amy wrote:
...the thing is, she was sobbing uncontrollably throughout the ENTIRE show....I watched the whole thing, and she was always a wreck! I didn't see her being any more so with Sanjaya, like the media is making her out to be. Whistle

I actually missed the first part of the show, Amy, so I didn't see her crying over Sanjaya at all. I did see toward the end where she was crying during Melinda's song - but I thought that was understandable because her version of "As Long as He Needs Me" was very emotional. It was only the next day that I saw the clips of her shedding tears over Sanjaya.
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PostSubject: Re: Crying Idol Girl   Mon Mar 26, 2007 10:32 pm

Amy wrote:
Rob wrote:
The girl wasn't a contestant. She was just a kid in the audience who was moved to tears by Sanjaya's performance. Nothing unusual in that, as most of us sob uncontrollably as we listen to him. But apparently she was moved in a good way. :unsure:

grinsmiley I'd have to agree with you on that one, Rob! LOL...the thing is, she was sobbing uncontrollably throughout the ENTIRE show....I watched the whole thing, and she was always a wreck! I didn't see her being any more so with Sanjaya, like the media is making her out to be. Whistle


Interesting. If that's the case, then maybe she was just so emotional about being able to be there to see the show live? *shrugs*
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PostSubject: Re: Crying Idol Girl   Tue Mar 27, 2007 7:08 am

Maybe she was crying for Randy Jackson. "I dunno, dawg... your sobbing is kinda pitchy."
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PostSubject: Re: Crying Idol Girl   Tue Mar 27, 2007 8:27 am

Rob wrote:
Maybe she was crying for Randy Jackson. "I dunno, dawg... your sobbing is kinda pitchy."
ROTFL

Don't forget Paula, "You know, your sobbing was kind of off key and not strong, but your hair is perfect and your dress is awesome and compliments the tears."

Simon, "Can I be honest? Your crying performance is what I would expect to see on a cruise ship. Clearly not your best performance."



"I would fight for you - I'd lie for you - walk the wire for you - ya I'd die for you..."
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PostSubject: Re: Crying Idol Girl   Tue Mar 27, 2007 10:59 am

LOL Misti & Rob! Laughing But yeah, Savannah, that's what I thought actually...from the very beginning, I thought it was just the fact that she was there, that was overwhelming for her. Sure, Sanjaya may have been her favorite, but she really did carry on with every single singer...LOL--the camera was on her enough to prove it! *where's my rolling eyes emoticon when I need it?* Wink

And ROFL, Kathleen Marie, you're showing your age, my dear friend! batEyes Donny Osmond and Davey Jones?!?! :faint2: Laughing Don't see too many 13 yr old girls bawling over them these days! bawling Ahhhh, those were the days, weren't they? happy1 (That's me waving my bra around for Donny had I ever been lucky enough to go to his concert! :sillySmiley: (Um, just kidding.:shy:)


“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”

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PostSubject: Re: Crying Idol Girl   Tue Mar 27, 2007 12:13 pm

Amy wrote:
happy1 (That's me waving my bra around for Donny had I ever been lucky enough to go to his concert! :sillySmiley:


affraid Amy!! ROTFL Honey, you need to pull out those Little House episodes again, and get some prairie time!! Waving your bra, indeed! *Savannah gasps* :Hahaha: :Hahaha:
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PostSubject: Re: Crying Idol Girl   Tue Mar 27, 2007 2:24 pm

Savannah wrote:
Honey, you need to pull out those Little House episodes again, and get some prairie time!! Waving your bra, indeed! *Savannah gasps* :Hahaha: :Hahaha:[/color]

Waving your bra could be LHOP-related if apples fly out. OhMy
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PostSubject: Re: Crying Idol Girl   Tue Mar 27, 2007 9:18 pm

Rob wrote:
Savannah wrote:
Honey, you need to pull out those Little House episodes again, and get some prairie time!! Waving your bra, indeed! *Savannah gasps* :Hahaha: :Hahaha:[/color]

Waving your bra could be LHOP-related if apples fly out. OhMy

Hey, yeah...that's what I was thinkin', Rob! Whistle Good one! Thumbsup

Savanah, sorry to have ruined your wholesome prairie image of me! (Betcha you'll never look at that happy1 emoticon the same way, will ya? grinsmiley


“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”

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PostSubject: Re: Crying Idol Girl   Tue Mar 27, 2007 11:55 pm

Amy wrote:
Rob wrote:
Savannah wrote:
Honey, you need to pull out those Little House episodes again, and get some prairie time!! Waving your bra, indeed! *Savannah gasps* :Hahaha: :Hahaha:[/color]

Waving your bra could be LHOP-related if apples fly out. OhMy

Hey, yeah...that's what I was thinkin', Rob! Whistle Good one! Thumbsup

Savanah, sorry to have ruined your wholesome prairie image of me! (Betcha you'll never look at that happy1 emoticon the same way, will ya? grinsmiley

Well, Amy, it could be underwear that your swinging! ROTFL



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PostSubject: Re: Crying Idol Girl   Wed Mar 28, 2007 7:06 am

Amy wrote:
Savannah wrote:
Honey, you need to pull out those Little House episodes again, and get some prairie time!! Waving your bra, indeed! *Savannah gasps* :Hahaha: :Hahaha:


(Betcha you'll never look at that happy1 emoticon the same way, will ya? grinsmiley


ROTFL ROTFL Too right, Amy! :Hahaha:
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PostSubject: Re: Crying Idol Girl   Today at 3:16 pm

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