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 Excerts From a Diary

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Rhonda
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PostSubject: Excerts From a Diary   Fri Mar 30, 2007 2:31 pm

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary

6:00am - At last! I Go Pee! My favorite thing!

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

6:00 pm - They're home! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



Excerpts from a Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.

I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now..



ROTFL ROTFL ROTFL









CANCER FREE!!!  April 9, 1998-April 9, 2016-I AM A SURVIVOR!!!
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Savannah
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PostSubject: Re: Excerts From a Diary   Fri Mar 30, 2007 6:08 pm

:Hahaha: :Hahaha: Too true!!
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PostSubject: Re: Excerts From a Diary   Fri Mar 30, 2007 6:33 pm

lol
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ChristinaAL
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PostSubject: Re: Excerts From a Diary   Sun Apr 01, 2007 2:02 pm

LOL...they have the life don't they? ;)




"It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures and to be cheerful and have courage when things go wrong."
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Debbie
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PostSubject: Re: Excerts From a Diary   Sun Apr 01, 2007 8:10 pm

ROTFL How true!!
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pamh36
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PostSubject: Re: Excerts From a Diary   Mon Apr 02, 2007 6:16 pm

*LOL* As a dog and cat owner I can definitely say, this is so true!


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Lily
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PostSubject: Re: Excerts From a Diary   Mon Apr 02, 2007 8:47 pm

ROTFL So cute and true.



"Within the heart of every stray, lies the singular desire to be loved."
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Rhonda
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PostSubject: Re: Excerts From a Diary   Thu Apr 05, 2007 7:29 am

Just wanted to add some rules that the dogs have.............ROTFL

Dog Property Rules :idance:



1. If I like it, it's mine.

2. If its in my mouth, it's mine.

3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.

4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.

5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.

6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway.

7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.

8. If I saw it first, it's mine.

9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.

10. If its broken, it's yours.



CANCER FREE!!!  April 9, 1998-April 9, 2016-I AM A SURVIVOR!!!
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Amy
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PostSubject: Re: Excerts From a Diary   Thu Apr 05, 2007 9:48 am

These are great!! LOL...the dog property rules also applies to toddlers!! :haha:


“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”

~Mother Teresa
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Rhonda
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PostSubject: Re: Excerts From a Diary   Thu Apr 05, 2007 10:23 am

Amy wrote:
These are great!! LOL...the dog property rules also applies to toddlers!! :haha:

That's for sure Amy......I recall that from working with kids all my life.... ROTFL



CANCER FREE!!!  April 9, 1998-April 9, 2016-I AM A SURVIVOR!!!
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Savannah
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PostSubject: Re: Excerts From a Diary   Thu Apr 05, 2007 11:52 am

Amy wrote:
These are great!! LOL...the dog property rules also applies to toddlers!! :haha:


Toddlers? That is true, but unfortunately, those sometimes apply to my thirteen-year-old nephew! No :Hahaha:
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Rhonda
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PostSubject: Re: Excerts From a Diary   Thu Apr 05, 2007 11:59 am

Savannah wrote:
Amy wrote:
These are great!! LOL...the dog property rules also applies to toddlers!! :haha:


Toddlers? That is true, but unfortunately, those sometimes apply to my thirteen-year-old nephew! No :Hahaha:

Well, I have an 18 year old and almost 17 year old....and for them, #5 has to be changed from...

5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.

to..."If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces that fall, you can clean up" banghead



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Melissa
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PostSubject: Re: Excerts From a Diary   Sun Apr 08, 2007 12:54 am

Haha that was so cute. I especially liked "I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage." haha.


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LHDaisy
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PostSubject: Re: Excerts From a Diary   Sun Apr 08, 2007 5:45 am

That's funny ROTFL
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PostSubject: Re: Excerts From a Diary   Today at 7:46 am

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