| | That's so punny! | |
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+17Krissy alexczarn ashkate11871 Vanesa Farmer Girl emilyanneoftheprairie Lori Lily flatbroke ChristinaAL JW LM Debbie Rob Carol Rhonda Savannah 21 posters | |
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Savannah "Psalm 34"
Number of posts : 54425 Mood :
| Subject: That's so punny! Mon Feb 26, 2007 11:51 am | |
| A friend of mine sent these to me, and since I love puns, they gave me a good laugh!
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"
13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"
16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and he is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan."
Year's later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him..... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
20. And finally. there was this person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
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| | | Rhonda Prairie Survivor
Number of posts : 21161 Location : On my bike!!! Mood :
| Subject: Re: That's so punny! Mon Feb 26, 2007 12:01 pm | |
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| | | Carol Adventure Seeker
Number of posts : 8665 Location : California Country Mood :
| Subject: Re: That's so punny! Mon Feb 26, 2007 12:10 pm | |
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| | | Rob Nip it in the bud!
Number of posts : 62609 Location : Michigan Mood :
| Subject: Re: That's so punny! Mon Feb 26, 2007 1:43 pm | |
| Great, Savannah! Reminds me of the time that Pope John Paul II was touring America. On a visit to Atlanta, he was presented with a beautiful ring. Shortly afterward it turned up missing. Everyone was busy, though, so the papal aides promised they'd look for it later. They promptly forgot about it. Then on the plane back to Vatican City, a Beatles song came on the radio. "Hey, that reminds me," said one of the aides. "Where did John Paul's Georgian ring go?" :shifty: | |
| | | Rhonda Prairie Survivor
Number of posts : 21161 Location : On my bike!!! Mood :
| Subject: Re: That's so punny! Mon Feb 26, 2007 1:58 pm | |
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| | | Debbie Mom Of 2 Kitties
Number of posts : 3822 Mood :
| Subject: Re: That's so punny! Mon Feb 26, 2007 4:32 pm | |
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| | | Savannah "Psalm 34"
Number of posts : 54425 Mood :
| | | | LM Prairie Settler
Number of posts : 812 Location : Bama ~ USA ~ Planet Earth Mood :
| Subject: Re: That's so punny! Mon Feb 26, 2007 9:22 pm | |
| - Rob wrote:
- Great, Savannah!
Reminds me of the time that Pope John Paul II was touring America. On a visit to Atlanta, he was presented with a beautiful ring. Shortly afterward it turned up missing. Everyone was busy, though, so the papal aides promised they'd look for it later.
They promptly forgot about it. Then on the plane back to Vatican City, a Beatles song came on the radio. "Hey, that reminds me," said one of the aides. "Where did John Paul's Georgian ring go?"
:shifty: :haha: :haha: :haha: | |
| | | LM Prairie Settler
Number of posts : 812 Location : Bama ~ USA ~ Planet Earth Mood :
| Subject: Re: That's so punny! Mon Feb 26, 2007 9:23 pm | |
| - Savannah wrote:
- A friend of mine sent these to me, and since I love puns, they gave me a good laugh!
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"
13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"
16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and he is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan."
Year's later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him..... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
20. And finally. there was this person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and he is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan."
Year's later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal." | |
| | | JW Isaiah Edwards
Number of posts : 9016 Location : Life is short! embrace it with a SMILE. Mood :
| Subject: Re: That's so punny! Tue Feb 27, 2007 11:08 am | |
| Punny | |
| | | Rob Nip it in the bud!
Number of posts : 62609 Location : Michigan Mood :
| Subject: Re: That's so punny! Tue Feb 27, 2007 10:41 pm | |
| Back in Biblical times, there was a whale and a sardine who were close friends.
One day the Lord wanted to talk to the whale, but He couldn't find him. So He asked the sardine if he knew of his whereabouts.
The sardine answered, "Am I my blubber's kipper?" :unsure: | |
| | | LM Prairie Settler
Number of posts : 812 Location : Bama ~ USA ~ Planet Earth Mood :
| Subject: Re: That's so punny! Tue Feb 27, 2007 11:06 pm | |
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| | | Rhonda Prairie Survivor
Number of posts : 21161 Location : On my bike!!! Mood :
| Subject: Re: That's so punny! Wed Feb 28, 2007 9:57 am | |
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| | | Savannah "Psalm 34"
Number of posts : 54425 Mood :
| Subject: Re: That's so punny! Wed Feb 28, 2007 11:46 am | |
| Oh my word........my sides!! You're killing me! :ROTFL22: | |
| | | Rhonda Prairie Survivor
Number of posts : 21161 Location : On my bike!!! Mood :
| Subject: Re: That's so punny! Wed Feb 28, 2007 11:51 am | |
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| | | Rob Nip it in the bud!
Number of posts : 62609 Location : Michigan Mood :
| Subject: Re: That's so punny! Wed Feb 28, 2007 12:38 pm | |
| Good one, Rhonda!
I once heard a true story about a little girl who was saying the Pledge of Allegiance. "...and to the republic for which it stands, one naked individual, with liberty and justice for all." | |
| | | Rhonda Prairie Survivor
Number of posts : 21161 Location : On my bike!!! Mood :
| Subject: Re: That's so punny! Wed Feb 28, 2007 12:49 pm | |
| - Rob wrote:
- Good one, Rhonda!
I once heard a true story about a little girl who was saying the Pledge of Allegiance. "...and to the republic for which it stands, one naked individual, with liberty and justice for all." The real stories are the best ones.......
When my youngest, Josh (17 in May) was 4, he was playing T-Ball, and he had watched his older brothers play ball and he knew that when the game was over, whether you won or loss, you were going to get to go to the concession stand and get a drink or some candy. This one time after his game was over, he took off running and I grabbed him by his uniform shirt and asked him just where did he think he was going all by himself. He looked up at me with those big brown eyes and a toothy grin and said, "I'm going to the confession stand mom!" I was laughing so hard, I just let him go on......
Then when I went thru my cancer the first time, he was just 5, and between going over to grandmas to eat with her and his Pa Don, who eats Jalapeños on just about everything and me having my chemotherapy treatments every month, he got mixed up, but did his best to show his concern for me..........Usually after the boys got off to school, I would climb back in bed, except for the mornings I was to go in for my chemo treatments, then I got out of my jammers and dressed to go......Josh noticed me dressed and he knew I was leaving soon after he left on the bus and he asked me, "Mom, are you going for your Jalapeño treatment?" :haha: CANCER FREE!!! April 9, 1998-April 9, 2023-I AM A SURVIVOR!!! | |
| | | JW Isaiah Edwards
Number of posts : 9016 Location : Life is short! embrace it with a SMILE. Mood :
| Subject: Re: That's so punny! Wed Feb 28, 2007 3:12 pm | |
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| | | Carol Adventure Seeker
Number of posts : 8665 Location : California Country Mood :
| Subject: Re: That's so punny! Wed Feb 28, 2007 4:05 pm | |
| - Rob wrote:
- I once heard a true story about a little girl who was saying the Pledge of Allegiance. "...and to the republic for which it stands, one naked individual, with liberty and justice for all."
LOL!! - Rhonda wrote:
- "Mom, are you going for your Jalapeño treatment?"[/b][/color] :haha:
:ROTFL22: | |
| | | Rob Nip it in the bud!
Number of posts : 62609 Location : Michigan Mood :
| Subject: Re: That's so punny! Wed Feb 28, 2007 5:38 pm | |
| Those are great stories, Rhonda! | |
| | | Rhonda Prairie Survivor
Number of posts : 21161 Location : On my bike!!! Mood :
| Subject: Re: That's so punny! Fri Mar 02, 2007 3:19 pm | |
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| | | ChristinaAL Little House Lady
Number of posts : 2761
| | | | Rhonda Prairie Survivor
Number of posts : 21161 Location : On my bike!!! Mood :
| Subject: Re: That's so punny! Fri Mar 16, 2007 7:26 am | |
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| | | Savannah "Psalm 34"
Number of posts : 54425 Mood :
| Subject: Re: That's so punny! Fri Mar 16, 2007 11:42 am | |
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| | | Rob Nip it in the bud!
Number of posts : 62609 Location : Michigan Mood :
| Subject: Re: That's so punny! Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:09 pm | |
| Too funny, Rhonda! | |
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