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 A Hilarious Joke:

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Ruth
Ingalls Friend for Life
Ingalls Friend for Life
Ruth


Number of posts : 2916
Location : Victor Harbor, South Australia
Mood : A Hilarious Joke: Pbucket

A Hilarious Joke: Empty
PostSubject: A Hilarious Joke:   A Hilarious Joke: EmptyThu Jan 12, 2012 4:34 am

Ha ha-This is something I found in the "World's Greatest Collection of Church Jokes" book... Laughing



Lord, my soul is ripped with riot
incited by my wicked diet.
"We are what we eat," said a wise old man!
And, Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can !

I want to rise on Judgment Day, that's plain,
But, at my present weight, I'll need a crane.
So grant me strength, that I may not fall
Into the clutches of cholesterol !

At margarine I'll never mutter
For the road to hell is paved with butter.
And cream is cursed, and cake is awful,
And Satan lurks in every waffle !

Give me this day my daily slice,
But cut it thin and toast it twice.
I beg upon my dimpled knees,
Deliver me from jujubes please !

And when my days of dieting are done,
And my war with Snickers bars is won,
Let me stand with the heavenly throng,
In a shining robe...size seven, long !

I can do it, Lord, if You'll show to me,
The virtues of lettuce and celery.
Teach me the evil of mayonnaise...
Of pasta a la Milanaise, potatoes a la Lyonnaise...
And crisp-fried chicken from the south ...
Lord, if you love me... shut my mouth !




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alexczarn
Ingalls Friend for Life
Ingalls Friend for Life



Number of posts : 22999
Location : Victor Harbor, South Australia
Mood : A Hilarious Joke: Happy010

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PostSubject: Re: A Hilarious Joke:   A Hilarious Joke: EmptyThu Jan 12, 2012 4:52 am

laugh3 I love this one!


A Hilarious Joke: Alexke11
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Krissy
Ingalls Friend for Life
Ingalls Friend for Life
Krissy


Number of posts : 45732
Location : Ontario, Canada
Mood : A Hilarious Joke: Headac10

A Hilarious Joke: Empty
PostSubject: Re: A Hilarious Joke:   A Hilarious Joke: EmptyThu Jan 12, 2012 9:54 am

laugh3


“Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it... Yet.” ― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables
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