Check these out...
Alcoholic - Anti-Sobriety Activist
Bald - folically independent
Bum - Involuntarily Domiciled
Earthquake - geological correction
Fat - People of Mass
Frog - amphibian American
Homeless - outdoor urban dwellers
Hunter - Bambi Butcher
Stoned - Chemically inconvenienced.
Politically Correct Terms For Females:
She does not get drunk, she is accidentally over served
or she becomes verbally dyslexic.
She does not have a killer body, she is terminally attractive.
She does not sun bathe, she experiences solar enhancement.
She is not a bad cook, she is microwave compatible.
She is not hooked on soap operas, she is melodramatically fixated.
You do not ask her to dance, you request a precoital rhythmic experience.
Politically Correct Terms For Males:
He does not have a beer gut; he develops a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.
He does not: Get lost all the time He discovers: Alternative destinations
He does not: Fart and belch He is: Gastronomically expressive
He does not get: Falling down drunk He becomes: Accidentally horizontal
Politically Correct Phrases For Students:
Your homework isn't missing, it's just having an "out-of-notebook experience."
You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time."
You're not having a bad hair day, you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."
You don't have smelly gym socks, you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."
You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."
It's not called gossip any more. It's "the speedy transmission of near-factual information."
The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively challenged."
Politically Correct Terms For Cat Owners:
My cat does not barf hairballs he is a floor/rug redecorator
My cat does not break things she helps gravity do its job
My cat does not yowl he is singing off-key
My cat is not a "shedding machine" she is a hair relocation stylist
My cat is not fat he is mass enhanced
My cat is not hydrophobic she has an inability to appreciate moisture
My cat is not lazy he is motivationally challenged
My cat is not underfoot she is leading me to my next destination
(the food dish!)