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 What's wrong with me?

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Julia
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PostSubject: What's wrong with me?!   Sun Mar 20, 2011 3:41 pm

Remember this post??? http://lhotp.editboard.com/t5392-we-re-thru

Well that might as well go out the door. I really don't know what is the matter with me. Everytime I say I am not going to like him anymore---I end up doing it. Let me fill you all in.

Okay, well I really did stick to that for a while. I never gave him the cold shoulder, I just was kinda just "there". Might have said "hey" or something or respond to something he said but that's it.
Well for a long while I didn't see him. About a month. Then a special speaker came to church. I saw him for the first time in a while. He acted so different. Definetly seemed to want to talk to me but really had a hard time doing so. But he did. As the weeks have gone by he seems more and more interested in his own way. I am not doing anything to lead him on at all! I just am "there"!.
After church a lot he'll just try to find me.
Well, he hasn't been coming on Wednesdays because of soccer practice. He found out thru my Mom my two guy friends came. When she said that he went from being relaxed talking to and jerked and said, "Huh?!" He then seemed very uptight the rest of the day. The next Wednesday he appeared to not be there. Class starts at 7pm. At 7:24 we here what sounds like an elephant running down the hall. The door busts open and he frantically is looking at where I am sitting and around the room. When he realizes it's just me he gets normal and saunters in. Arjay:"Am I late?" Wink Me: "Uhhhh--YEAH! 24 minutes late!" He had hurried to get there and left his wallet and phone at home! He'll tease me and act a certain way in class but not after class when we are around everyone and it makes 0 sense.
But today we were talking about gardens and how we'd describe them. He said "beautiful" and looked at me. He did other things like that today too and an old friend of ours who's now becoming famous was there and one time when Arjay said something and looked at me with a smile, the guy said, "Arjayyyyyy!" Arjay was like "What?" and the other guy gives him this look and nods to me. Arjay smiles real big and looks down. Later I was walking thru a doorway and he was coming so he turns to let me by but leaves his shoulder out just enough to brush me and says, "'Scuuuuuuse me! Smile " It was a nice "excuse me", in a nice voice I mean.
My friend said she feels like we are going to end up dating. I all of the sudden realllly like him again and now my youth leader is teaching on love and it includes dating.
I am not sure what to do. I don't want to change what I have been doing because then I don't want him to accuse me of chasing him. But I'm afraid if I keep acting as distant as I have he'll go away. So, I need some major advice, thoughts, etc. Does he like me now? Did he lie back then saying he didn't? Should I start acting different?...AHHHHH!


"The beauty of a woman is incredibly radiant when she finds her identity, her confidence, & her hope in Christ alone. "  


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Rob
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PostSubject: Re: What's wrong with me?   Sun Mar 20, 2011 6:13 pm

It definitely sounds like he likes you.

As for whether he lied before when he said he didn't like you... well, lying is kind of a strong term. Things probably haven't changed much since I was a teenager back in the early '20s. I remember that kids have a tendency to not want to reveal too much about themselves, you know? It makes them feel vulnerable. If a boy says he likes you, and then finds out you don't like him back, that's a major blow. So sometimes a boy will say he doesn't like you just to avoid a that potential hurt. It doesn't make much sense in the long run, of course, but the urge to avoid getting hurt can be pretty strong.

It seems like there should be some middle ground between acting distant and "chasing him." I would just be... friendly. Just let him know that you like him (like with a little L), and the big L might develop very naturally.
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PostSubject: Re: What's wrong with me?   Sun Mar 20, 2011 8:10 pm

Rob said it perfectly. And, as for your subject heading....sweetie, there's nothing wrong with you. It's absolutely normal to be feeling the way you're feeling. It's part of being sixteen. It's such a difficult, amazing, tear-filled, fun, emotional time. It's like a roller coaster ride emotionally. It's totally normal to be happy as can be one moment and in tears the next. But that gets better.

Rob wrote:
It seems like there should be some middle ground between acting distant and "chasing him." I would just be... friendly. Just let him know that you like him (like with a little L), and the big L might develop very naturally.

If we were on Facebook, I'd "like" this post. Since we're not, I'll say
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Julia
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PostSubject: Re: What's wrong with me?   Sun Mar 20, 2011 10:00 pm

He knew I liked him. I just don't know. My feelings are SO mixed up. Can y'all pray he gets more bold or something! I have liked him since '09....but I don't feel like it's just a simple crush anymore---I feel like I love him.


"The beauty of a woman is incredibly radiant when she finds her identity, her confidence, & her hope in Christ alone. "  


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Vanesa
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PostSubject: Re: What's wrong with me?   Mon Mar 21, 2011 12:33 am

Savannah wrote:
Rob said it perfectly. And, as for your subject heading....sweetie, there's nothing wrong with you. It's absolutely normal to be feeling the way you're feeling. It's part of being sixteen. It's such a difficult, amazing, tear-filled, fun, emotional time. It's like a roller coaster ride emotionally. It's totally normal to be happy as can be one moment and in tears the next. But that gets better.

Rob wrote:
It seems like there should be some middle ground between acting distant and "chasing him." I would just be... friendly. Just let him know that you like him (like with a little L), and the big L might develop very naturally.

If we were on Facebook, I'd "like" this post. Since we're not, I'll say

Savannah said it too, Julia. It's normal to feel the way you do at sixteen! Don't worry. If you loves him, just see what life could bring for both of you. Love

Vanesa.


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Julia
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PostSubject: Re: What's wrong with me?   Wed Mar 30, 2011 2:15 am

When it comes right down to it...I sometimes feel like he isn't the one....


"The beauty of a woman is incredibly radiant when she finds her identity, her confidence, & her hope in Christ alone. "  


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PostSubject: Re: What's wrong with me?   Wed Mar 30, 2011 5:48 am

Give both of you time... Smile


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Julia
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PostSubject: Re: What's wrong with me?   Wed Mar 30, 2011 4:48 pm

Yeah but I am liking someone else a bit....


"The beauty of a woman is incredibly radiant when she finds her identity, her confidence, & her hope in Christ alone. "  


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PostSubject: Re: What's wrong with me?   Wed Mar 30, 2011 5:38 pm

.


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Julia
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PostSubject: Re: What's wrong with me?   Wed Mar 30, 2011 5:42 pm

Right now, I think I know my choice. At least for this time in my life.


"The beauty of a woman is incredibly radiant when she finds her identity, her confidence, & her hope in Christ alone. "  


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PostSubject: Re: What's wrong with me?   Wed Mar 30, 2011 5:43 pm

.




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Julia
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PostSubject: Re: What's wrong with me?   Wed Mar 30, 2011 5:45 pm

I'll have to show you who I picked. ;)


"The beauty of a woman is incredibly radiant when she finds her identity, her confidence, & her hope in Christ alone. "  


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Krissy
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PostSubject: Re: What's wrong with me?   Mon Apr 04, 2011 10:23 am

Thumbsup


“Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it... Yet.” ― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables
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Julia
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PostSubject: What's wrong with me?   Thu Nov 01, 2012 11:59 am

I know this is an odd thing that I am about to write about but it's been concerning me and my mental frame of mind for a while.

Over the past 2 years and months I've have found that I can't relax, be happy, etc. without constantly having music playing. It's like I HATE the quiet. I feel nervous without it. Doesn't matter what kind of music (as long as it's the kind I enjoy). Usually it ends up being classical or even Christmas. Now even when I sleep I HAVE to have something playing or I'm almost scared. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'll almost feel unhappy without music playing. I try to force myself to have quiet it and it just about sends me up the wall. Any idea what's my problem?
Am I lonely or something?.... scratchead


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Rob
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PostSubject: Re: What's wrong with me?   Thu Nov 01, 2012 12:03 pm

It sounds like music is just something you find very comforting. An audio teddy bear. I wouldn't worry about it, Julia.
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PostSubject: Re: What's wrong with me?   Thu Nov 01, 2012 12:11 pm

My husband needs the TV on to fall asleep. For my girls it's a fan running. Some people just need what they call "white noise" in the background to feel comfortable.


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PostSubject: Re: What's wrong with me?   Thu Nov 01, 2012 12:30 pm

to both posts above. "Audio teddy bear". I like that.

When I was a teen and babysitting, I remember that I needed to have music or the TV going after the kids went to bed, because otherwise I'd hear every little noise and my imagination would run wild.
Sometimes an imagination can be a cursed thing. Anyway, don't let it worry you, Julia. You worry too much. Try to relaaaaaaaaaaax. Love ya, kiddo!
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PostSubject: Re: What's wrong with me?   Thu Nov 01, 2012 2:42 pm

bethandmanly wrote:
My husband needs the TV on to fall asleep. For my girls it's a fan running. Some people just need what they call "white noise" in the background to feel comfortable.

That's the way I am. I need to have the air purifier running to sleep. When we are on vacation and things are quiet at night, I don't sleep as well and I hear every little noise...
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PostSubject: Re: What's wrong with me?   Thu Nov 01, 2012 5:01 pm

for me i need dark to sleep.Sometimes i listen to music intill i get tired


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PostSubject: Re: What's wrong with me?   Sat Nov 03, 2012 3:30 am

Miss Julia, you are a teenager. This is normal.
Hopefully you keep the love for music, I know I did.


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PostSubject: Re: What's wrong with me?   Sat Nov 03, 2012 6:17 am

A love for music is a great thing to have! I agree with something that Lisa mentioned in her post, sometimes music will distract you from hearing every little nose if you're alone or if you're in a silent place. I know it does that for me. Try not to worry about it too much, and enjoy the music you're listening to Smile
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Julia
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PostSubject: Re: What's wrong with me?   Sat Nov 03, 2012 4:11 pm

Okay. I just was hoping I was mental or something! Lol. My Dad gets so tired of it. I sometimes try to listen to music through earphones but I don't want to damage my ears so I restrain it to just when I am in the car or something. It's so weird. I feel so nervous and almost scared when I don't listen to it. I guess I've had a lot of bad things happen and the music comforts me.


"The beauty of a woman is incredibly radiant when she finds her identity, her confidence, & her hope in Christ alone. "  


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PostSubject: Re: What's wrong with me?   Sun Nov 04, 2012 10:14 am

what type of music do you like to listen to?
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PostSubject: Re: What's wrong with me?   Sun Nov 04, 2012 9:50 pm

Debbie wrote:
bethandmanly wrote:
My husband needs the TV on to fall asleep. For my girls it's a fan running. Some people just need what they call "white noise" in the background to feel comfortable.

That's the way I am. I need to have the air purifier running to sleep. When we are on vacation and things are quiet at night, I don't sleep as well and I hear every little noise...


I have to have a fan on in the bedroom to sleep, even in the wintertime. Yikes Gotta have white noise! I never used to be this way...my hubby created a monster. HE needs it, and ended up conditioning me to need it too! The problem is a fan in the room does make it too cold, even facing away from us, so an air purifier would be a good idea. Thumbsup

Julia, I have a feeling this constant need is something you'll out-grow eventually, so try not to let it worry you too much. If you're really concerned about it, maybe try weaning yourself off of it just at certain times. Obviously you need it at night to wind down and to sleep, but maybe try getting through the morning without it. That kind of thing. Do you listen to music even when you're studying? My boys can both do that I'll never understand how they can multi-task like that. They can even have the TV on. But they get good grades so who am I to question their methods? Whistle
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Julia
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PostSubject: Re: What's wrong with me?   Sun Nov 04, 2012 11:05 pm

I do the exact same thing. I listen to music while studying. I make it classical or just instrumental though so I won't be trying to listen to the words unless it is a song I don't pay attention to the words much because I already know it so well.

As to what types of music I like, I enjoy Christian music, Christmas music, 1940's, 1950's, and 1960's music. Not much of today. My top favorite groups are Glenn Miller Band, Tommy Dorsey Orchestra, Harry James Orchestra, Benny Goodman's Band, The Monkees, The Beach Boys, and The Carpenters.


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