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 Shy or not?

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Julia
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PostSubject: Does he like me or not?   Wed Mar 24, 2010 11:38 pm

Ok, well, there is this guy at my church that over the months seems to be really interested in me. I started liking him in October of last year. He gave every signal that pointing in the right direction.....

Tonight he was really different. He would look at me but not like normal. We had fun night tonight with games and pizza. The only thing that he did that was questionable was talk to his friend and whenever he did they would be looking in my direction and pointing at me and smiling. Occasionally laughing too.

Is this normal!? The only words we uttered tonight (not that we do much on other times but we do do more) was "bye". bawling

He is kinda the shy type too but over the months he has gotten VERY bold.

I need some help on understanding guy and the signs.
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bethandmanly
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PostSubject: Re: Shy or not?   Thu Mar 25, 2010 12:50 am

Um, if you figure out guys and their signs, please let this 41-year-old married woman know how you did it. Lord knows I haven't figured men out yet. scratchead

Honestly, the only real way to know is to ask him. I know this sounds bold and probably frightening, but guys are just afraid as girls of rejection. I'm not sure what you mean by very bold, but as long as it is appropriate bold, then that could be a good thing.

If you have a group of friends at church you could always plan on doing something together and ask him if he would be interested in coming along. Getting together with a group is much easier than being one on one.

I hope it works out.


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Julia
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PostSubject: Re: Shy or not?   Thu Mar 25, 2010 1:16 am

bethandmanly wrote:
Um, if you figure out guys and their signs, please let this 41-year-old married woman know how you did it. Lord knows I haven't figured men out yet. scratchead

Honestly, the only real way to know is to ask him. I know this sounds bold and probably frightening, but guys are just afraid as girls of rejection. I'm not sure what you mean by very bold, but as long as it is appropriate bold, then that could be a good thing.

If you have a group of friends at church you could always plan on doing something together and ask him if he would be interested in coming along. Getting together with a group is much easier than being one on one.

I hope it works out.

By bold I mean he isn't acting shy anymore. He is very sweet and gentle and we used to know each other long ago. We remember each other very little. All I remember him being is shy and very short. Now he is extremly tall and I am the short one! (I am only 5"0) Haha!

I have been told to invite friends and him for an outing or something but my Dad is unemployed and we are having to do a lot since my Grandmother's passing last month. I think my asking him if he liked me would scare him to be truthful. He has a harsh and overbearing father. Some might call his father too bold in the bad way so I don't want to remind him of that. His mother is the opposite. He is a Mamma's boy. I pray it works out. He always blushes when I walk in, if it looks like I will not be at church he will go frantic and ask my Youth leader and good friend if I am coming. They will say they do not know (if they don't know) and he will reply, "Well, shouldn't we save a seat for her????!!!!" He is always looking for me and even one time when I was not coming, he left!!

Another neat thing is this. Say there are 3 empty chairs 000<--chairs. I take the one in on the side--> J00
his best friend is here J00BF...he won't sit by his best friend. It now will look like this.... JA0BF (his name is Arjay) He leaves a space! And this is his friend that were looking and pointing to me tonight. His friend seems very attentive and interested in me too. I have never had a boyfriend and don't want to rush into this, but I would like an idea on what might and or is going on! Haha! I can really understand when you say you cannot figure out guys! And they call us crazy and complicated! "Look in the mirror!" ROTFL
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Julia
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PostSubject: We're thru   Thu Feb 03, 2011 12:03 am

Well. Arjay & me are thru. I am relieved. Imokay


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Rob
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PostSubject: Re: Shy or not?   Thu Feb 03, 2011 4:37 pm

Wasn't sure how to reply to this, Julia... whether to say "I'm sorry" or "congratulations." But if you're relieved, that's a good thing.
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PostSubject: Re: Shy or not?   Thu Feb 03, 2011 4:41 pm

I was trying to find just the right words, too, and couldn't come up with them. So...{{{{Julia}}}} Sometimes a hug speaks a thousand words.
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Amy
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PostSubject: Re: Shy or not?   Thu Feb 03, 2011 5:01 pm

Aw, a break up is tough, any way you slice it. (((hugs)))

It sounds like you're coping well though, Julia...as my father always said, "There are plenty of fish in the sea!" Smile
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PostSubject: Re: Shy or not?   Thu Feb 03, 2011 6:32 pm

If you're relieved, I guess it is a good thing. Funny how it works that way sometimes, you want so badly to be with someone, and then when you finally are, it just isn't what you thought it would be. It sounds like you are wise beyond your years, Julia. Smiley Hug


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PostSubject: Re: Shy or not?   Thu Feb 03, 2011 6:59 pm

scratchead


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Julia
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PostSubject: Re: Shy or not?   Thu Feb 03, 2011 7:53 pm

We were never really boyfriend/girlfriend. It is really that I let go of him. I realized a lot of my perfectionist problems were stemming from him. I have been so much happier since. I don't think we are compatible in that way. Friends? Yes! Always. But not boyfriend/girlfriend. He doesn't even want to date but did say he led me on. So....haha!


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Amy
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PostSubject: Re: Shy or not?   Thu Feb 03, 2011 9:37 pm

Julia, I'm with Pam. You are definitely beyond your years. yes Good for you. Smile
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PostSubject: Re: Shy or not?   Thu Feb 03, 2011 10:00 pm

Well Good for you, The Way i see it people should not worry as much as to who they want to date if it is Meant to be it will happen Smile


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Julia
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PostSubject: Re: Shy or not?   Thu Feb 03, 2011 11:09 pm

Thank you all so much! I feel so much better. I am happy! In fact, the reason I did not want braces was because I felt like he would not accept me that way. I always felt like I had to be the way HE wanted me to be & look. NOT GOOD.


"The beauty of a woman is incredibly radiant when she finds her identity, her confidence, & her hope in Christ alone. "  


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PostSubject: Re: Shy or not?   Thu Feb 03, 2011 11:26 pm

MissYoungClassic wrote:
Thank you all so much! I feel so much better. I am happy! In fact, the reason I did not want braces was because I felt like he would not accept me that way. I always felt like I had to be the way HE wanted me to be & look. NOT GOOD.

Definitely! You shouldn't have to be any different than who you are for someone else. I'm glad you're happier. Smile




"It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures and to be cheerful and have courage when things go wrong."
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Julia
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PostSubject: Re: Shy or not?   Thu Feb 03, 2011 11:29 pm

There is a red flag right there. If you feel like you cannot be yourself around someone---don't try to further anything.


"The beauty of a woman is incredibly radiant when she finds her identity, her confidence, & her hope in Christ alone. "  


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MattLabMyLove
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PostSubject: Re: Shy or not?   Fri Feb 04, 2011 12:21 am

If a guy wants you to change they way you are or look then GET RID OF HIM! It's not worth it. I went through that with my last boyfriend.


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PostSubject: Re: Shy or not?   Fri Feb 04, 2011 12:50 am

Amy wrote:
Julia, I'm with Pam. You are definitely beyond your years. yes Good for you. Smile

I share Amy's opinion, dear Julia. You are a very mature girl. I think all of LHOTP crowd is proud of how you cope with problematic issues. Thumbsup When I was your age I was ...pretty fool. Ooops

Vanesa.


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PostSubject: Re: Shy or not?   Fri Feb 04, 2011 12:54 am

MissYoungClassic wrote:
There is a red flag right there. If you feel like you cannot be yourself around someone---don't try to further anything.

You reminds me when Ma Ingalls says to Laura that she must not to change to push Almanzo to love her. Laura must always remain HERSELF, Laura Ingalls, and not to act like other persons, just to please people.

Congrats, Julia! You are very intelligent and determined. Thumbsup

Vanesa.


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flatbroke
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PostSubject: Re: Shy or not?   Fri Feb 04, 2011 5:26 am

Man, I'm afraid to say anything, cuz I almost see a lynch mob forming. lol

I had one teenage daughter who's grown to 21, and one that's just a bit older than you..17. Luckily, the younger is more interested in her friends and tying up my phone and pc talking to them than boys, though one comes along once in a while. But you'll know a decent one when he comes along, and that final one is probably years away.

My daughter says I scare 'em off. I dunno why. All I do is ask for ID, get their plate number and kind of car and advise them she'd better be home on time while looming over them. What's scary about that?





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Julia
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PostSubject: Re: Shy or not?   Fri Feb 04, 2011 8:15 pm

Thank you all for your support. It makes me feel like I for sure made the right decision! Thumbsup
Haha! I sometimes feel like my Mom scares some away from me too.


"The beauty of a woman is incredibly radiant when she finds her identity, her confidence, & her hope in Christ alone. "  


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PostSubject: Re: Shy or not?   Fri Feb 04, 2011 8:23 pm

MissYoungClassic wrote:
Thank you all for your support. It makes me feel like I for sure made the right decision! Thumbsup
Haha! I sometimes feel like my Mom scares some away from me too.
That's what parents do Julia. And if they're scared away, they weren't worth having in the first place. The one that sticks around, he's the guy to go to the movies with. (Old saying)
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Julia
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PostSubject: Re: Shy or not?   Fri Feb 04, 2011 8:26 pm

In my opinion, if the guy cares enough for me, he will be willing to take me on any conditions and borders my parents put up.


"The beauty of a woman is incredibly radiant when she finds her identity, her confidence, & her hope in Christ alone. "  


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PostSubject: Re: Shy or not?   Fri Feb 04, 2011 8:32 pm

MissYoungClassic wrote:
In my opinion, if the guy cares enough for me, he will be willing to take me on any conditions and borders my parents put up.

Can I trade you with my daughter? You can tell your parents she doesn't eat much...
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Julia
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PostSubject: Re: Shy or not?   Fri Feb 04, 2011 8:32 pm

Ahaha. I don't eat much either. lol!


"The beauty of a woman is incredibly radiant when she finds her identity, her confidence, & her hope in Christ alone. "  


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PostSubject: Re: Shy or not?   Fri Feb 04, 2011 8:33 pm

MissYoungClassic wrote:
Ahaha. I don't eat much either. lol!
Well it's a win/win then. greenS
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