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 a little house like story

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charles1874
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PostSubject: a little house like story   Sun Apr 21, 2013 6:25 pm

A PRAIRIE HOME CHAPTER 1 The sun beat har don my face as plwoed throught he fields that day. it was ahrd working homesteading on the open dakota terriotory in year 1883 but i loed. it had been for my third third year on this land and in one more it would offically be my very own peice of land. when it was the afternnoon sun i knew it was it was omost tiem todo my work in towns o i unhitched the horses prince and princess and and led them by the reins into the stable , feed them some hay and then walked to the shanty. when i opened the door i saw my wife baking bread in th oven. when her back was toward me i layed my arms around her and KISSED HER. " Jeffrey ,athern and kristy are gign to be back fromt he water soon" " who cares " i said giving her another kiss " ma " kristy said said staring at us with the waterbucket in her hand " pa" said a surpised philip . he was the oldest of our broad of childrenat the age of fourteen. " i told you" my wife helen joked as she was getting way from my arms " pa" Philip said again " don't go pa- ing me , go feed the chickens" " but i just did that" " think of something to do, AND KRISTY GO OUTSIDE na d feed the horses with that water." " wheres your sister" helen asked while opening the stove to take the bread out " oh shes with andrew" kristy said " their probaly somewhere up kissing" Philip said " kissing" I said enarly jumping out of ym chair " but shes only fourteen and hes only sixteen" " pa fourteen isnt so young" philip said " philip your twin sister is younger theeny ou " " jeffrey stop spilling th eboys head with nonsnses" my wife said to me. CHAPTER 2 That night at suppe cathern still hadnt return from her venture outside earlier. " i wonder where that girl can be" i said to helen who sat across from at the other head of the dinner table " i do wonder where she would be at this late hour" helen repiled then she stuffed a fork full of chicken in her motuh. knock knock " theirs a kock at the door " kristy said " well doors do get knocked on" philip said " oh be quiet" kristy angerly answered " you children stop arugueign" " yes ma " they said in unision. " jeffrey can you go see whos at the door. i then when over the door and and pulled the nobe to open and a second later Andrew , a neigboring homesteaders son who was tall with blond hair and was clusmy came in holding hands with my daughter cathern who ahd from hair and weareda blue work dress , and they both ahd smiles a= ont he ir faces " pa " cathern said to me" we've jsut asked andrew folks and thy daif if its okayw ith you thenwe can get married. i was so surprised i seriousley though iw as goign tog et a heart ached. it wa s jsut the other day that she was acting like a silly schoolgirl always gettign the scrapes and now she wanted to be amrried No , was the first thoguht in my mind but i knew helen waneted us to talk sow ith out wordi followed her outside
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charles1874
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PostSubject: Re: a little house like story   Sun Apr 21, 2013 6:25 pm

soem one pleASE COMENT
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Gin
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PostSubject: Re: a little house like story   Mon Apr 22, 2013 3:25 pm

This is too hard a story to follow.....sorry. You probably need to use spell check and not run so many sentences together.




It is the lack of Christianity that has brought us where we are. Not a lack of churches or religious forms but of the real thing in our hearts. LIW.....Words From a Fearless Heart
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Rob
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PostSubject: Re: a little house like story   Mon Apr 22, 2013 5:13 pm

Also, Charles, if you break it up into paragraphs instead of having one big block of text, it will be much easier on the eyes.
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Davidccl
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PostSubject: Re: a little house like story   Wed May 08, 2013 10:56 pm

True it has lots of gramatical and spelling errors. But I followed it right well. Can you continue the story? Also chapter 1-2 feels like its just a small part of chapter 1.

I'm following for more to read =D


Ying and Yang, Good and Evil, Light and Dark..  All are 2 sides to their own coin.  Niether can live with each other, but none can also live without the other.
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LHOTPfan2000
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PostSubject: Re: a little house like story   Sun Jun 02, 2013 1:22 pm

I don't know why everyone's being so down about it scratchead I think its very good and that you must have spent a long time on it.

I do agree there a some spelling mistakes but don't we all do that from time to time???

And it may just be because of writing it out fast.

Its very good please do more!!! Smile




“It was a huge shock when it came and very excited“

This was the duchess of cambridges take on how she felt when William proposed during their official engagement interview with ITN reporter Tom Bradby. There was a real giggle at the end. Cute.
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Savannah
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PostSubject: Re: a little house like story   Sun Jun 02, 2013 2:39 pm

I don't think that anyone intends to be down about the story at all. The comments were simply about the editing. The truth is, if a story has grammatical errors, or spelling errors it will make it harder for readers to enjoy simply because they'll have to decipher as they go - and the more there are, the harder it will be. Every writer wants his or her story to be able to be read by as many people as possible. If nobody is willing to offer kind, constructive feedback when someone requests it, even though it may end up being a criticism, we'll never learn anything in life - whether it's writing, drawing, playing a musical instrument or anything else we do. If we have mistakes, it's best to work on fixing them rather than pretending we didn't make them.
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Davetucson
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PostSubject: Re: a little house like story   Sun Jun 02, 2013 8:28 pm

Could have been worse! This guy could have read it!


"Albert, do you REALLY think you are old enough to know what love is?"
"I must be Pa. I love you, I have for a long time."
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LHOTPfan2000
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PostSubject: Re: a little house like story   Mon Jun 03, 2013 10:43 am

HA HA HA




“It was a huge shock when it came and very excited“

This was the duchess of cambridges take on how she felt when William proposed during their official engagement interview with ITN reporter Tom Bradby. There was a real giggle at the end. Cute.
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charles1874
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PostSubject: Re: a little house like story   Wed Jun 19, 2013 7:13 pm

haha well thanks for your opinions i might continue the story
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LHOTPfan2000
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PostSubject: Re: a little house like story   Fri Jun 21, 2013 12:51 pm

Yes do try! Smile




“It was a huge shock when it came and very excited“

This was the duchess of cambridges take on how she felt when William proposed during their official engagement interview with ITN reporter Tom Bradby. There was a real giggle at the end. Cute.
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PostSubject: Re: a little house like story   Today at 4:13 pm

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