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 Best Divorce Letter Ever!

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Carol
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PostSubject: Best Divorce Letter Ever!   Tue Nov 18, 2008 2:16 pm

BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER grinsmiley

Dear Wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want to make love or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

---------------


Dear Ex-Husband

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still love you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica , but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.

So take care.

Signed,
Your Ex-Wife,
Rich As Hell & Free!

PS. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born
Carl. I hope that's not a problem.

:woohooo: :cheers16:




Last edited by Carol on Tue Nov 18, 2008 7:12 pm; edited 2 times in total
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bethandmanly
Dean's Dedicated Diva
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PostSubject: Re: Best Divorce Letter Ever!   Tue Nov 18, 2008 5:03 pm

ROTFL


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emilyanneoftheprairie
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PostSubject: Re: Best Divorce Letter Ever!   Tue Nov 18, 2008 6:02 pm

o my! that is great! Laughing ROTFL Applause :sillySmiley:



I want to be the best, so whatever comes with that, I’ll have to accept. ~Sidney Crosby
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PostSubject: Re: Best Divorce Letter Ever!   Tue Nov 18, 2008 10:33 pm

lol
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edwina
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PostSubject: Re: Best Divorce Letter Ever!   Sun Nov 23, 2008 6:09 pm

ROTFL :Hahaha:


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Krissy
Ingalls Friend for Life
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PostSubject: Re: Best Divorce Letter Ever!   Fri Jan 20, 2012 10:51 pm



“Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it... Yet.” ― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables
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PostSubject: Re: Best Divorce Letter Ever!   Today at 10:57 pm

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