Oh My stars!!.some children are not little angels....

I'Ve come to notice that some kids have Attiudes likes teens. today in toddlers at church this 4 year old was very rude i guess you could say.She would push her little brother down. say to him. "I hate you", "go away" "I don't like you". Just very bossy kid. I wounder how she acts at home.Sorry just needed to vent.I hope she grows out of this and learns you can't always get your own way and learns to share and be nicer.Other wise i hate to see her has a teen..

Have you ever looked afther kids like this?

I can honestly say that I never really knew any bratty, for lack of a better word, kids. Not when I was a kid, nor as I got older. My mother will watch those nanny shows and always say "I never knew kids like that. Maybe I was lucky that I really did have good kids." Something I have noticed is how rude some little kids are, though. And I think that is on the parents for not telling them how to behave better. But another thing my mom has always said is "Kids can be very mean". And I think that is true. Again, though, I think that is on the parents. Not always but most of the time. In my opinion (and this is just my opinion), I think parents spoil their kids too much nowadays. And I honestly think that leads to the rude, naughty, nasty behavior that a lot of kids have. And I think, unfortunately, it just gets worse as they get older. At least that is what I think. I am judging this by watching what other kids do in a store or on TV and so on.

MissOleson wrote:

I can honestly say that I never really knew any bratty, for lack of a better word, kids. Not when I was a kid, nor as I got older. My mother will watch those nanny shows and always say "I never knew kids like that. Maybe I was lucky that I really did have good kids." Something I have noticed is how rude some little kids are, though. And I think that is on the parents for not telling them how to behave better. But another thing my mom has always said is "Kids can be very mean". And I think that is true. Again, though, I think that is on the parents. Not always but most of the time. In my opinion (and this is just my opinion), I think parents spoil their kids too much nowadays. And I honestly think that leads to the rude, naughty, nasty behavior that a lot of kids have. And I think, unfortunately, it just gets worse as they get older. At least that is what I think. I am judging this by watching what other kids do in a store or on TV and so on.

I agree with you.It could have a lot to do with the parents and what they teach them. Yes i think nowadays too that kids and teens have too much things or more then maybe they need.I don't know but i don't hate this kid i just hated how she was acting.She even gave her dad a hard time when he came to pick her up.He had to drag her out of the room.

Yes. Krissy. I know a lot of these little bratts nowadays. And I also thinks that it's related to the fact that their parents wouldn't raise them properly. I've seen some toddlers being very rude to adults in the street, their parents watching all the scene...and they wouldn't said a word to say to their child he/she mnust act ...ermh...more politely at least.

Vanesa.

OH yes.
I've worked in nursery at church and let me tell you....some kids really test a person's Christianity!

MissYoungClassic wrote:

OH yes.
I've worked in nursery at church and let me tell you....some kids really test a person's Christianity!

Very true indeed.

My mom almost had a breakdown yesterday!!! Was ready to pull out my hair!!!!

Vanesa wrote:

Yes. Krissy. I know a lot of these little bratts nowadays. And I also thinks that it's related to the fact that their parents wouldn't raise them properly. I've seen some toddlers being very rude to adults in the street, their parents watching all the scene...and they wouldn't said a word to say to their child he/she mnust act ...ermh...more politely at least.

Vanesa.

Totally agree!

MissOleson wrote:

Something I have noticed is how rude some little kids are, though. And I think that is on the parents for not telling them how to behave better. But another thing my mom has always said is "Kids can be very mean". And I think that is true. Again, though, I think that is on the parents. Not always but most of the time.

Before I had my girls, I would have agreed with you. But with one strong-willed child in our house, I’ve learned DNA plays a big role in how kids act. We have three kids—one who is now married. Our son was so easy-going that nothing prepared me for having a strong-willed child. They fight you on everything—even the simple stuff like what to eat for breakfast or what to wear to school. It is so frustrating.

In addition to being strong-willed, one of our daughters doesn’t see situations from another person’s perspective. So, if she has a disagreement with one of her friends, it’s impossible for her to understand how her friend might see the situation. Now, part of that is lack of maturity, but she has such a high opinion of herself, she truly doesn’t want to try to see it from another person’s perspective. It is never her fault.

Vanesa wrote:

Yes. Krissy. I know a lot of these little bratts nowadays. And I also thinks that it's related to the fact that their parents wouldn't raise them properly. I've seen some toddlers being very rude to adults in the street, their parents watching all the scene...and they wouldn't said a word to say to their child he/she mnust act ...ermh...more politely at least.

I can only speak to how things are from my situation, but if you are dealing with a strong-willed child, you are doing battle with that child every day, multiple times a day. Often times, those battles come in front of other people. At some point it gets embarrassing. Just because the parent doesn’t scold that child publicly, doesn’t mean he or she won’t hear about it from the parent once they are in the car.

In a situation like Vanesa described, though, where the child is rude to an adult, I couldn't wait until we were in the car - I'd want that person to know that I didn't find that behavior to be acceptable, and that I wouldn't let them be treated that way by my child without facing the child about it. Even if it was something like, "You have been taught better than that, and will not treat someone with such disrespect. We'll finish talking about this later." (Though I'm relatively sure that the child's complete name would be in there somewhere. ) Dealing with a strong-willed child (or children with ADHD) is a LOT of work. And kids are all different...but I have to say that, overall, there are WAY too many pushover parents out there.

bethandmanly wrote:

MissOleson wrote:

Something I have noticed is how rude some little kids are, though. And I think that is on the parents for not telling them how to behave better. But another thing my mom has always said is "Kids can be very mean". And I think that is true. Again, though, I think that is on the parents. Not always but most of the time.

Before I had my girls, I would have agreed with you. But with one strong-willed child in our house, I’ve learned DNA plays a big role in how kids act. We have three kids—one who is now married. Our son was so easy-going that nothing prepared me for having a strong-willed child. They fight you on everything—even the simple stuff like what to eat for breakfast or what to wear to school. It is so frustrating.

Cheryl, I never realized that you and I were in the same boat. Mine are 'grown' now, the younger son being 17, but I had the same situation, raising my boys. The older one was a piece of cake, honestly, in every way...just super laid back and pleasant. Even his terrible twos weren't that terrible! And then my younger son changed all that, lol...I learned very quickly that all my parenting techniques with the first one were going to fly right out the window with my second! This was definitely a DNA thing. I had a book called "Raising your High Spirited Child" and it was like my bible. The thing about my younger one though---he was difficult for ME, but he was actually good for other people. He was great at preschool (although he cried the first two weeks we dropped him off there...my older one would never have done that). But he would not 'act up' for other people. In my line of work, it's plain to see that generally kids will test their parents more than their childcare providers. If kids are still 'acting out' for childcare providers, something is definitely 'off'. With the kids I've cared for, the ones who have really acted up for me, as their caregiver, have been the ones who have come from dysfunctional homes, or else needed help later---one is 9 now and he's on ADHD meds and has done a complete turn-around.

One thing I wanted to throw in there though is that I have noticed that some of the most difficult children in younger years end up being the neatest, coolest people later on in life. Those kids who've been hell on wheels in their youth can end up being the most charming, charismatic, and funny people later on. I've seen it time and again over the years with the difficult children I've cared for and 'raised up', and even my own son (who just about drove me to the funny farm ) is full of 'personality' now...our 'ham'. It's very interesting!

Cheryl wrote:

Vanesa wrote:

Yes. Krissy. I know a lot of these little bratts nowadays. And I also thinks that it's related to the fact that their parents wouldn't raise them properly. I've seen some toddlers being very rude to adults in the street, their parents watching all the scene...and they wouldn't said a word to say to their child he/she mnust act ...ermh...more politely at least.

I can only speak to how things are from my situation, but if you are dealing with a strong-willed child, you are doing battle with that child every day, multiple times a day. Often times, those battles come in front of other people. At some point it gets embarrassing. Just because the parent doesn’t scold that child publicly, doesn’t mean he or she won’t hear about it from the parent once they are in the car.

SO true....you have to pick your battles if you have a tough one. Otherwise you're always at war and it's not healthy. I'm on board with you Cheryl. However. In the case of a toddler, I don't think a parent can afford to wait, even if it's in public. It has to be nipped in the bud, with each and every 'infraction', in my opinion, because by the time the parent has let it go and waited to get them in the car to deal with it, it's too late to really reinforce it, so that they truly 'get it'. With preschool age, yes, sometimes you can wait until you get them out of the situation before getting into it with them. I was a parent though that didn't really care if I had a whole store staring at me---for example, I remember one time while I was grocery shopping with Nick I took a toy away from him when he thought he was getting it. His behavior had been rotten and I wasn't going to reward him after that. SO I chose to take the toy away and he screamed all the way through the store, and I'm sure people probably thought I'd beat my child. My feeling is though, more and more parents are taking the easy way out---whatever way they can make the child complacent is the approach they'll take. Like, in that situation, rather than trying to have a teaching moment, it's easier to just to get the toy for him and let the situation go. I think there are missed teachable moments out there all the time, whether at home or in public, and I think it's a lot of what's wrong with our kids these days.

Getting off my soapbox now!

Lisa wrote:

In a situation like Vanesa described, though, where the child is rude to an adult, I couldn't wait until we were in the car - I'd want that person to know that I didn't find that behavior to be acceptable, and that I wouldn't let them be treated that way by my child without facing the child about it. Even if it was something like, "You have been taught better than that, and will not treat someone with such disrespect. We'll finish talking about this later." (Though I'm relatively sure that the child's complete name would be in there somewhere. ) Dealing with a strong-willed child (or children with ADHD) is a LOT of work. And kids are all different...but I have to say that, overall, there are WAY too many pushover parents out there.

I missed this post earlier Lisa...not sure how! But I think you already know that I completely agree with you.

My son is 4 now & I have learned it's not easy (at least with him) you can tell your child to behave & what to do but that doesn't mean that they always will. My son tests me more at home than in public which I'm grateful for but those times that he does misbehave in public I always appreciate it when someone gives me an understanding smile, because I really don't need the stares.

Yeah,I guess it depends on the person.But i can remember being a little kid making a sence at a store cuz i didn't get what i want. It makes me wounder how embarsered my mother must have been. I know whenever i did something wrong i was told it was wrong and i shouldn't do that. No child is really perfuct.I guess that's why they call it the terbblie twos lol

Kamberley wrote:

My son is 4 now & I have learned it's not easy (at least with him) you can tell your child to behave & what to do but that doesn't mean that they always will. My son tests me more at home than in public which I'm grateful for but those times that he does misbehave in public I always appreciate it when someone gives me an understanding smile, because I really don't need the stares.

I noticed that more often than not, my boys would test me when my husband and I had them together in public. They would try to play one of us off the other, do you know what I mean? Or else they'd just act out more, if it was the two of us, 'parenting' together. At certain ages it was a lot easier for me to have them in public all on my own, even though my hubby is a great dad and we were always a unified team raising them. Well, maybe not always , but most of the time.

My son was about 3 years old when he had his one and only public temper tantrum. We were in a toy store and he didn't want to give the toy to the cashier for me to pay for it. I ended up wheeling his crying, screaming behind out of there without buying anything.

Gosh, he was so much easier to raise than the girls.

Cheryl, I have said for years that I would take boys over girls any day. My twin nieces were quite the drama queens....and still are at 18!

Yeah, Now to think about theses twins boys in the toddler room wasn't that bad looking afther compared to some little girls.

I guess Girls are mean with the words. & boys are mean with the fighting..But i must say i think words hurt more.

We should just stop having children. End of problem.

Wait. Maybe I didn't think that out too well.

Joe wrote:

We should just stop having children. End of problem.

Wait. Maybe I didn't think that out too well.

Joe!

Vanesa.