Too old?

What is your opinion of an 18 year old girl dating a 25 year old guy? Too old or not? The boy is an extremely decent boy, pure, innocent, and a strong Christian.

As a mom, I wouldn't be thrilled. There are so many changes young men and women go through in their late teens and early twenties. I dated a guy who was 19 when I was 16. Even just those three years made a huge difference back then. Now, I wouldn't bat an eyelash on dating a man ten years older than me--if I were available. My hubby and I are the same age; though he is two months and 5 days older than me.

Well, as you probably guessed I am referring to myself.

I guess what makes this lovely fellow different is a lot of things. First thing is what I mentioned at the beginning. The boy is an extremely decent boy, pure, innocent, and a strong Christian. He has been raised very correctly. He has the utmost manners I've ever seen in my life. An extreme gentleman. He is SO respectful. He calls my parent's "yes sir" and "yes ma'am"...although sometimes he'll be silly and call my Dad, "Mr. Policeman sir", but rarely. He truly is like a rare find. At first you might think he is real shy and reserved but he is just quiet and very laid back...but like they say you have to watch the quiet ones..he can be really funny too when you are not expecting it. It's quite adorable and charming. We attend the same church. He possesses all the qualities in a man that I have been praying to God for....even down to looks!! Tall, blue eyes, wears glasses... I am just like...wow! I don't know if I have a chance, but if it is God's will, it will happen. People tell me I am mature for my age....if I am, maybe that's a good thing and will go in my favor since I look much younger than 18! When I am around him he brings out a part of me that no one else does or ever has. A very outgoing, relaxed girl who doesn't have a care in the world at the time. I don't even worry how my hair looks or how I look period. It's amazing. The person I desire the most to be like all the time, he brings it out in me.

What has made me suspect that he might be starting to fancy me is the fact that all of the sudden now he seems very nervous around me...restless and fidgety. People claim I've grown up over night. Whether that's true or not, recently he looked at me and smiled, looked away and began to step forward, then he stopped and did I guess what you call a "doubletake"? I don't know if that is what you call it. Anyhow, he just starred at me for the longest time smiling. I starred back smiling. Usually I get so nervous when a guy stares at me, not him.....

MissYoungClassic wrote:

When I am around him he brings out a part of me that no one else does or ever has. A very outgoing, relaxed girl who doesn't have a care in the world at the time. I don't even worry how my hair looks or how I look period. It's amazing. The person I desire the most to be like all the time, he brings it out in me.

I don't think anyone could ask for more than that, Julia. Age difference can be a big deal, but it can be just as true that the years don't matter at all, given the right people. Hope everything works out the way you want it to.

I agree with Rob & beth. Hope things work out with you.In the long run it seems like you could build a good friendship with him

Rob wrote:

MissYoungClassic wrote:

When I am around him he brings out a part of me that no one else does or ever has. A very outgoing, relaxed girl who doesn't have a care in the world at the time. I don't even worry how my hair looks or how I look period. It's amazing. The person I desire the most to be like all the time, he brings it out in me.

I don't think anyone could ask for more than that, Julia. Age difference can be a big deal, but it can be just as true that the years don't matter at all, given the right people. Hope everything works out the way you want it to.

That is very true! I love how you highlighted that. It now means a lot more. It is great to be around people that bring out the best in you.

I guess it is a bit of a gap there but it shouldn't matter if they are the right people for each other, People might like the idea better once you were 20 and he 27 then it doesn't sound like so many years,
I for my self wouldn't make a decision based on age

JW wrote:

I guess it is a bit of a gap there but it shouldn't matter if they are the right people for each other, People might like the idea better once you were 20 and he 27 then it doesn't sound like so many years,
I for my self wouldn't make a decision based on age

I agree with you. My parents themselves are 10 years apart in age.

A friend of mine (who is 16) have a boyfriend who is ten years older than her. They've been together for almost a year, and they seem to be a great couple. I guess when it comes to love, age (and also weight, height, size etc) are just numbers.

It is a bit of an age difference, at least to me, but if he is respectful of you and makes you happy, that is important

I agree with both of you. My main focus is to focus on God. If he wants me and this certain gentleman to be together, He will allow it. Right now I will just enjoy him and his sweet company.

It should be fine. I'm only saying this because of the people I work with, just as long as your comfortable being around him you'll be fine. Just know when to get out of there if he ever makes you feel uncomfortable. Also, its good that he's the quiet type because if your going out/really good friends and somebody starts "messing around" with you while he's nearby he could scare them a bit (Quiet guys are scarry when they are angry).

I guess I can't agree more with Rob---if he makes you feel this way, completely content with yourself, then that speaks volumes.

But I see what Cheryl is saying too.

I had just turned 19 when I met my husband who was 26 at the time and we started dating. I really thought that was a crazy age difference at the time and was very worried about it. And of course my parents were and they were right to be, because he had a lot more experience than I did. Let's just say that the first decade of marriage was no picnic, because he was very set in his ways at that point, very independent and had a hard time settling into married life and parenthood and 'answering' to someone. Eventually he got the hang of it though, , through TONS of hard work and commitment on both our parts, and we have now been married 23 years and he is the best husband I could have ever asked for. All the hard work totally paid off. We were one of those couples who married and probably everyone at the wedding gave us 5 years. But we were meant to be and eventually the age difference didn't mean anything.

But when we were younger the age difference WAS a factor and as Cheryl was saying, there is a lot of life experience between those years and it's sometimes hard to connect/mesh the two lives together. My son is 23 next month and is crazy about a 19 year old girl he met at college, but is discovering that there is a lack of maturity there that one can only gain with those years of experience. I'm sure she considers herself to be very mature, but she's really not. My hubby had a lot of growing up to do at 26 himself, and I'm not sure '19 year old 'me' was the best thing for him. But all's well that ends well. I really do feel like it depends on the individual people and how they mesh as individuals.

I agree with Amy.I understand her point.

A little update, not that it matters, but just thought I would tell y'all that this upcoming Sunday, after church, our families are going out to eat.

YAY!

Oh what a shame!

Will be praying.