Post your Joke!

Blonde Password...


During a recent password audit, management discovered a blonde was using the following password:


MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento


When they asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include one capital.

That is great I love it!

The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had been told the combination, but couldn't quite remember it.

She went to the pastor's study and asked for help. The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial.

After the first two numbers he paused and stared blankly for a moment.Finally he looked serenely heavenward and his lips moved silently.

Then he looked back at the lock, and quickly turned to the final number, and opened the lock.

The teacher was amazed. "I'm in awe at your faith, pastor," she said.

"It's really nothing," he answered. "The number is on a piece of tape on the ceiling."

After church, little Johnny and his brother go ice fishing. Little Johnny starts drilling on the ice when a voice from above says, "Young man, there's no fish down there.”

Little Johnny asks his brother, "Who is that?"

His brother replies, "I don't know."

So little Johnny starts to drill again and the voice says again, "For the second time, there's no fish down there."

Little Johnny asks his brother, "Could that be God?"

His brother replies again, "I don't know."

Little Johnny starts drilling again and the voice says once more, "Young man, for the last time, I'm telling you there's no fish down there."

Johnny looks up and asks, "Is that you, God?"

The voice says, "No, I'm the manager and the rink's closed."

Mozart Beyond the Grave



When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Mozart was buried.

Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Mozart's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Mozart decomposing."

Rhonda!!

I'll have to tell that one to Kara. She'll probably just roll her eyes at me instead of laughing though.

Rhonda, that was great!

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Johnny standing in the foyer of the church, looking at a large plaque that hung there. After the young man of seven had stood there for some time, the pastor walked up beside him and said quietly,

"Good morning, son."

"Good morning, Pastor," replied the youngster, not taking his eyes off the plaque. "Can I ask you, Sir, what is this for? Why are all these names listed on here?"

"Well, son, these are all the people who have died in the service," replied the pastor. Soberly, they stood together, staring up at the large plaque.

Little Johnny's voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly, "Which one, Sir, the 8:30 or the 10:30?"

, Rhonda!

Those are great Rhonda!

You are working on your family genealogy and for sake of
example, let's say that your great-great uncle, Remus Starr, a
fellow lacking in character, was hanged for horse stealing and
train robbery in Montana in 1889.

A cousin has supplied you with the only known photograph of
Remus, showing him standing on the gallows. On the back of the
picture are the words:

"Remus Starr: Horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison,
1885. Escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught
by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged, 1889."

Pretty grim situation, right? But let's revise things a bit.
We simply crop the picture, scan in an enlarged image, and edit
it with image processing software so that all that is seen is a
head shot.

Next, we rewrite the text:

"Remus Starr was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory.
His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable
equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana
railroad.

"Beginning in 1885, he devoted several years of his life to
service at a government facility, finally taking leave to
resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key
player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton
Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an
important civic function held in his honor when the platform
upon which he was standing collapsed."

(I got this from a friend....and no offense is in tended toward those who might have a particular preference for blondes. )

A blonde is out for a walk and comes to a large river. She sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!!" she shouts....."How can I get to the other side??" The second blonde looks up the river, and down the river, then shouts back, "You ARE on the other side!"

Ah... I like thiz joke!

Love these, Rhonda!