Things You'd Love To Say Out Loud At Work.....

THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK....

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of crap.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.

10. Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

23. Do I look like a people person?

24. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

25. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

26. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

27. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

28. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

29. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

30. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

31. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

32. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

33. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

34. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

35. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

36. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

37. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

38. Oh I get it... like humor... but different.

I think I have used one or two from that list.

I can think of quite a few of those that may be very useful!

Some of those just fit my boss TOO well!!! :sillySmiley:

"14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth."




Hmm... I think this one every single day.....:shifty:

Since I work in retail, these would come in so handy and may I climb on my soap box for one minute and say the following:

"Get off your damn cell phones when I'm waiting on you in line". What is so important that you talk on the phone when I'm ringing up your order? Do you even pay attention to your "stuff" being scanned to make sure everything is okay??? Are you so much more important than everyone else that you feel we all need to hear your stupid conversations??"

Thank you all very much for your consideration.

Kathleen Marie wrote:

Since I work in retail, these would come in so handy and may I climb on my soap box for one minute and say the following:

"Get off your damn cell phones when I'm waiting on you in line". What is so important that you talk on the phone when I'm ringing up your order? Do you even pay attention to your "stuff" being scanned to make sure everything is okay??? Are you so much more important than everyone else that you feel we all need to hear your stupid conversations??"

Thank you all very much for your consideration.

:rockon: I very much agree Kathy!