Actual Sentences Found in Patients' Hospital Chart

1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

2. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

3. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

4. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

5. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

6. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

7. The patient refused autopsy.

8. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

9. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

10. Patient's medical history has been remarkable with only a 40-pound weight gain in the past three days.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated, and sent home.

14. The skin was moist and dry.

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

20. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

21. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

22. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

23. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

24. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

:unsure: :haha:

What can you say....:bash: ......:Hahaha:

Those are great!

"17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid."

Huh??? *LOL*

Those were hilarious!! Thanks for the laughs!

pamh36 wrote:

"17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid."

Huh??? *LOL*

Those were hilarious!! Thanks for the laughs!

Talk about taking the scenic route.

flatbroke wrote:

pamh36 wrote:

"17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid."

Huh??? *LOL*

Those were hilarious!! Thanks for the laughs!

Talk about taking the scenic route.

,Larry!

Carol wrote:

8. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

How many do you need? :think:

flatbroke wrote:

pamh36 wrote:

"17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid."

Huh??? *LOL*

Those were hilarious!! Thanks for the laughs!

Talk about taking the scenic route.

*ROFL* You're not kidding!

ROTFLOL! I had to stop drinking my tea while reading or the poodle using me for a hammock would have had a shower! LOL!!

Once when I was in the ER because a few days after hitting my head I got dizzy the doctor was so tall when he came in the room he hit his head on the light fixture :S

And on a related note....

These are actual excuse notes from parents excusing their children from
missing school (includes original spelling):

~ My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today.
Please execute him.

~ Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

~ Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31,
32, and also 33.

~ Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out
of a tree and misplaced his hip.

~ John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

~ Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was
hurt in the growing part.

~ Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by
very close veins.

~ Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

~ Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and
his boots leak.

~ I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I
don't know what size she wear.

~ Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get
the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought
it was Sunday.

~ Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her
funeral.

:Hahaha: OH MY GOSH!!! I think some of those parents actually live in this area!!!!!!

:Hahaha: Those are hilarious!!!!

Those are hilarious! Thanks for sharing!

Now I don`t know this person but I once heard they said they couldn`t go on a school field trip because they`re Father was having his uterus taken out. Huh? LOL This is true though.

Brenda!

I know! LOL

And the teacher said something like 'Well I`m sorry to hear that.'
:scratch: :Hahaha:

As long as you are being the typo police Lily...........How in the world did this one get away from you..................Read the subject line.............

Actual Sentences Found in Patiens' Hospital Chart

Haha those are funny!

Wow. I like the school excuses better. Those we're funny.