Southern Ways...

Subject: Southern Ways... Sun Sep 25, 2011 11:07 pm

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED LIVING IN THE SOUTH... A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road. You learn That “down the road a piece” could be a mile or 25 miles, and you know to make sure you’re looking at the person who says it’s “over yonder” so you can see where they point. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South. There are 10,000 types of spiders and all 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before. And If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha. A true Southerner knows the car with the turn signal flashing is probably not going to turn. Onced and Twiced are words, and “gimme some sugar” does not mean the white stuff you put on cereal. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy! Jawl-P? Means Did all of you go to the bathroom? People actually grow, eat and like okra. Fixinto is one word, meaning I'm getting ready to do that. There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there is supper. Sweet tea is a little bit of Iced tea in your glass of sugar, and the only appropriate drink for all meals. It is referred to as the Wine of the South and true Southerners start drinking it when they're two. “Backwards and forwards” means I know everything about you, it or whatever. The word jeet is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?' You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em. Ya'll is singular; All ya'll is plural. You measure distance in minutes. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal. You know what a DAWG is and the difference between a Redneck, a Good ole boy and Po white trash. You know when you hear someone say “Bless her Heart!” it is the Southern way of saying she’s slow, stupid, or just doesn’t have a clue to what’s really going on or how she ought to be acting. You only need five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, Tabasco and ketchup. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, motor sports and gossip. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit a bit warm. You know the difference between a hissy fit and a conniption fit and that you don’t “have” them, you “pitch” them. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite pastime known as goin Wal-Martin' or being off to Wally World. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good beef stew or chili weather. Fried catfish is the other white meat. We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!! If you understand these forward them to your Southern friends and to those who just wish they were from the SOUTH, well bless their hearts.

"The beauty of a woman is incredibly radiant when she finds her identity, her confidence, & her hope in Christ alone. "

Southern Ways... JuliaKeeper

Subject: Re: Southern Ways... Mon Sep 26, 2011 12:08 am

I knew maybe 1 of those. greenS

Subject: Re: Southern Ways... Mon Sep 26, 2011 12:13 am

Oh, Julia! You made me LAUGH! I think that one of the best things of Southern people is that they can laugh of themselves and a person who is able to make fun of hi/herself is very surely more than bright! Thumbsup

Vanesa.

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