What is a Friend

I've had many friends over the years, some good some so-so and some I'd refer to as mere acquaintances but my best friend Eileen and I have been friends for 32 years and have been through good and bad times together. We met when we both worked for Britiish Telecom in 1978. She was Protestant, I was Catholic which anywhere else wouldn't matter but here in Northern Ireland, at the height of the Troubles a lot of people would have seen that as a big hurdle. Not us though. We weren't interested in who was what, just that we both had the same morals and sense of humour. Our friendship developed very quickly and I think in the 32 years we've known each other we've only had cross words once. Eileen was my Matron of honour at my wedding and my kids refer to her as Auntie Eileen. We know each is always there for the other and we can tell each other things we couldn't share with anyone else.

It made me wonder what you all look for in a friend. What are important traits to you in a friend?

I believe honesty, trust and someone who doesn't pre-judge are very important.

What about you?

Some who you can trust, share anything with! Some one honest, Some one fun to hang out with! just some who's always around for you when u need a friend.....some one who doesn't judge you!

Wow Maureen, 32 years of friendship! That is really something. It sounds like you have an amazing friend there!

I have several different 'kinds' of friends, and I love them all. I have old friends that have stood the test of time, and old friends who I've only reconnected with recently, which has been amazing. I have also had friends who have disappointed...ones who I mistakenly believed were true, who were actually 'fair weather' friends. And I have friends here on this board, who have become so special to me after years of getting to know them now.

Then there is my "Anne of Green Gables" friend, who it took me 35 years to find----my 'bosom friend' as Anne would say. Barbara and I met on a Dr. Quinn board and discovered we only live 45 minutes away from each other. When we met in person, it was instant comradery...something special that I knew I had waited my whole life for. I have never had a friend that I've connected with in such a way, or had someone who has understood me so deeply. Aside from my husband, of course. Barbara and I just reached our 5 year 'anniversary' on February 5th. I think that part of what makes a 'bosom friendship' tick is actually having different personalities, but similar values and belief system. I am very different from Barbara, and from my husband. You know what they say about opposites!

Here is what I have learned about friendship: A friend is there through it all, not just the good times. When you don't see eye to eye, a true friend will do their best to at least meet you halfway. A friend will inspire you to be a better person. A true friend will tell you how it is, even if you may not really want to hear it. She will see all your flaws, because you can be completely honest with her about yourself, but she'll love you anyway. A true friend will always think of your feelings, and respect what makes you 'tick'. She will keep your best interests at heart, and will do her part in going that extra mile to make you feel special and cared about. That's the friend that I have found, that I didn't think I'd ever find after 35 years. Ironically, my dad found this same kind of friend for the first time in his life, through church at the age of 65, the same year I found Barbara. It really is never too late!

a friend is someone you can trust, tell anything to, call up at any time if you need someone to talk to, someone to love, and someone you can most of all have a good time with.

32 years of friendship is pretty cool, Maureen! I've known my friend Patrick for about 12 and a half years now, since we were in preschool. he's the friend I've known the longest.

Amy wrote:

Here is what I have learned about friendship: A friend is there through it all, not just the good times. When you don't see eye to eye, a true friend will do their best to at least meet you halfway. A friend will inspire you to be a better person. A true friend will tell you how it is, even if you may not really want to hear it. She will see all your flaws, because you can be completely honest with her about yourself, but she'll love you anyway. A true friend will always think of your feelings, and respect what makes you 'tick'. She will keep your best interests at heart, and will do her part in going that extra mile to make you feel special and cared about. That's the friend that I have found, that I didn't think I'd ever find after 35 years. Ironically, my dad found this same kind of friend for the first time in his life, through church at the age of 65, the same year I found Barbara. It really is never too late!

Barbara sounds just like Eileen and what you say here is exactly how I feel too, Amy.

I've been best friends with my friend sence we were like 13 years old and we are 27 now! long for us...I've had other friends but it never lasted long........