Anorexic

Subject: Re: Anorexic Sat Apr 02, 2011 12:18 am

It sound like a really healthy diet, Julia! But don't forget you needs also some proteines, so if you can, eat some meat, and if you don't like it, you could take some beans or soya beans. They are really good!

Vanesa. Wink

Subject: Re: Anorexic Sat Apr 02, 2011 12:20 am

I forsure have been eating meat....and it seems that doesn't even keep me filled up for long! :) Maybe I'll be my dream height. Hopefully this is a growing spurt!

"The beauty of a woman is incredibly radiant when she finds her identity, her confidence, & her hope in Christ alone. "

Anorexic - Page 3 JuliaKeeper

Subject: Re: Anorexic Mon Apr 04, 2011 3:51 pm

MissYoungClassic wrote:: Maybe I'll be my dream height. Hopefully this is a growing spurt!

It's funny, when I was your age all I wanted was to be short! I was taller than all the boys! And most of the girls, LOL! I was always jealous of the short girls. So, whatever your height is, just be proud of it and enjoy whoever God made you to be. Anorexic - Page 3 70708

Subject: Re: Anorexic Mon Apr 04, 2011 4:02 pm

Amy wrote:

MissYoungClassic wrote:: Maybe I'll be my dream height. Hopefully this is a growing spurt!

It's funny, when I was your age all I wanted was to be short! I was taller than all the boys! And most of the girls, LOL! I was always jealous of the short girls. So, whatever your height is, just be proud of it and enjoy whoever God made you to be. Anorexic - Page 3 70708

Well, I used to want to stay short only because of guys. But now I don't care because I am not trying to please the boys anyway! Besides...I don't think I have much to worry about because most all the boys I've liked and the ones that have shown interest are super tall and lanky. laugh3

"The beauty of a woman is incredibly radiant when she finds her identity, her confidence, & her hope in Christ alone. "

Anorexic - Page 3 JuliaKeeper

Little House Lady Number of posts : 2761

Amy wrote:

MissYoungClassic wrote:: Maybe I'll be my dream height. Hopefully this is a growing spurt!

It's funny, when I was your age all I wanted was to be short! I was taller than all the boys! And most of the girls, LOL! I was always jealous of the short girls. So, whatever your height is, just be proud of it and enjoy whoever God made you to be. Anorexic - Page 3 70708

Great advice! Glad you're doing better, Julia. Keep it up!

"It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures and to be cheerful and have courage when things go wrong."

Subject: Re: Anorexic Fri Jul 01, 2011 2:49 am

Julia, your in prayers. What, I read so far. Sounds like, your dong good job. Keep up the good work. Each day, will get better. Just takes time. Thumbsup

New Pioneer Number of posts : 66

Oh man, do I know what you are going through. I used to be anorexic, too. I'm 16 now and still sometimes struggle with it. I remember eating only an apple a day--it's amazing that I got through it. But you can too! I'll be praying for you and I'd love to talk more about if you want to! :)

I remember the time I knew what happiness was...let the memory live again.

Subject: Anorexia Update Mon Jul 04, 2011 11:35 pm

As you all know a while back I had wrote a thread concerning my dealings with anorexia.

I thought it might be nice to post an update because some of y'all have asked me how I am doing concerning that issue and it has been a long while since I wrote that.

For a while I was doing ok. Eating better. Feeling good, but not 100%. Everytime I ate I would feel soooo extremely guilty and bad, unless it was a salad or something like that.

Slowly I slipped back. It was worse than when I first wrote. Mom had been aware of the first time it was bad, but this time she was really getting concerned and telling me to please gain weight. I started doing extreme things. I'd go and sit in the car in 95 degree heat outside to try and sweat the fat out for 30 minutes. I'd open the car door every now in then for air. Then after that I'd jog. I can only imagine what the neighbor's were thinking. I was sooo tired. I was sticking to my K-bar for breakfast, but I'd have 50 calorie lunches. Anything over 100 calories I felt guilty. I limited my dinner. I remember sitting in church and my stomach growled. I had my water with me and I drank half the bottle in the bathroom so I'd be full. Another time in youth group my stomach growled and I didn't have my water. Everyone thought it was hilarious and of course I joined in laughing, but Arjay didn't. He already told me he noticed I'd lost a lot of weight. He always seems to know what is REALLY going on with me.

I became extremely addicted to exercise. Constantly trying to shrink my waist size. I wanted to be a 18-20. My ribs were starting to show. It hurt to sit down on hard chairs because my backside was boney and my neck bones stuck out terribly. (They already do naturally but this was not their norm.) Then I started thinking my hips and backside were fat. So here came the exercises for those. We'd go to Chikfila and I'd eat half my sandwich and then carrot salad. I felt guilty for drinking any soda. Any other place we ate it was ALWAYS salads and water. I was not enjoying life for sure. I also wasn't sleeping because in order for no one to see exactly how much I exercised I stayed up late. Then I would feel real sick after so that kept me up til' 5AM. So I was getting 5 hours of sleep max for a month and a half. Then I got what we think was iron deficiancy. The symptoms were there. I was real pale too. Momma went out and bought me some liver because it is loaded with iron. I felt better.

Momma put her foot down. She demanded I do no more exercising. She then decided to take my to our pastor for counceling. I was for counceling this time. I knew this HAD to stop. I felt like I was falling down a slope and was trying to stop but couldn't. The thing that was a REAL challenge for me was not feeling guilty when eating. I think that right there was my biggest hurdle. Another thing was I was always desiring to look a certain way but failed to realize these women were older than me and I am not done growing yet. I was getting better step by step. Then my friend said something that set a spark off in me you might say. What she said wasn't very nice, so it made me want to prove her wrong. She said I have probably miss my chance to get any taller. Oooh. You should have seen my face. Well, I started eating like a HOG. In the right way of course. :) Eating veggies, meat, drinking well. This time, no guilt. Within 2 weeks I grew about half an inch and I believe I am a bit taller now. I really feel this thing is BEHIND me. Everytime I try to think about my weight I switch my thinking to, "You are still growing Julia!" That right there is a major improvement. My weight is not my constant focus anymore. My Mom saw how well I was improving, not just in the weight/eating right dept., she noticed I am improving in my studies, and I am a lot happier to people. Even guys! (That is another story.) She is letting me exercise now, but she told me what I can do and can't. Moderation in everything. A lot of times I just dance for my exercise. You really are having fun and don't realize you are exercising. I actually look thinner even though I gained weight. I am hungry alot.

Just pray I can keep up this good progress. I haven't felt this free ever from this dreaded thing.....thank you all for being there for me and giving me support! I love you all!

Julia

"The beauty of a woman is incredibly radiant when she finds her identity, her confidence, & her hope in Christ alone. "

Anorexic - Page 3 JuliaKeeper

Subject: Re: Anorexic Tue Jul 05, 2011 12:14 am

Julia, PLEASE get hold of this by seeing a doctor that knows how to deal with it and you. I have a niece that is anorexic and she got SO bad, she ended up in the hospital and missed out on walking with her class when they graduated. This is NOT something you can take on by yourself, it takes drastic measures by a doctor. Not only does your height get stunted, but it does SO much more to your body, you just don't know......the heart, your monthly cycle, your other organs.....not a good thing.....I pray you find a doctor that works with Anorexic patients and take heed as to what he has to say.....this is SERIOUS sweetie, VERY SERIOUS!

CANCER FREE!!! April 9, 1998-April 9, 2025-I AM A SURVIVOR!!!

Subject: Re: Anorexic Tue Jul 05, 2011 1:00 am

Rhonda's right. You really do need to see a doctor about this, even though you think you are a lot better.. Some of the things you were doing were real stupid. Anorexic - Page 3 279394

But I'm still praying and here for you. Anorexic - Page 3 410460

Subject: Re: Anorexic Tue Jul 05, 2011 1:22 am

Well, the thing was I wasn't really aware of all the effects anorexia can have on your body until my best friend sent me out of the blue this website. It scared me. Especially on how it can cause serious issues health issues later in life...and anyone who knows me knows I hate being sick. So ontop of realizing I need to eat, that scared me too...a good scared. I am still seeing my pastor. It has helped me. He gave me a piece of paper of things to say everyday and it has helped. Even if we wanted to see a doctor, we can't afford it.
I do know I am doing great. I have gained weight and Momma is constantly saying how proud of me she is when it comes to my eating. But I am constantly under her eye....

"The beauty of a woman is incredibly radiant when she finds her identity, her confidence, & her hope in Christ alone. "

Anorexic - Page 3 JuliaKeeper

Subject: Re: Anorexic Tue Jul 05, 2011 1:24 am

MissYoungClassic wrote:: Even if we wanted to see a doctor, we can't afford it.

Main problem with the US Health Care system... mad

Subject: Re: Anorexic Tue Jul 05, 2011 2:22 am

Julia... YOU can't be the judge to say whether or not you are doing better. You have been here before saying you got scared and you were doing great. The things you say you do... sitting inside a car in 95 degree weather... it's like you want to commit suicide or something... it's not normal. And then going out to run??? That is NOT normal Julia.

You are a beautiful person and I don't understand why you are so down on yourself wanting to be thinner and wanting to be taller. Who cares if you stop at 5"1.... I am that height and it is not the end of the world. Who cares about "missing the train" as some people say.... they probably "missed the train" on other things.... or are they perfect looking human beings??? I was always the tallest and stopped growing in 7th grade. 85% of my girl friends are around my height and yes, between all my friends, we do tell our short and tall jokes... it's all for fun, nobody takes it so seriously, neither should you.

What makes you want to do this? Do you want to be thin for the guys? Do you want to be taller to look better when standing by them? Do you think that if you were thin or tall enough it would solve your image problems? I don't know who you are comparing yourself to? Each person is different. Diversity if beautiful.

Like Rhonda said... Anorexia is VERY serious and you don't get better so fast like you mention in your post. Anorexia is a Monster. It tells you being thin is the answer but it lies.

I'm sorry if I sound harsh.... but I just want you to be real with yourself and sometimes people need tough love.

Please listen to this song...

(Glee version)

Subject: Re: Anorexic Tue Jul 05, 2011 7:54 am

I am very happy to hear that you are making better choices about eating and exercising. That is really great.

I do agree with Rhonda and Carol. Anorexia is a disease, not a choice. Medical help really is necessary to really heal from this condition. As you can see from your own experience, it is an ongoing battle, and you fall back off again. Under a doctor's care you will have the tools you need to keep fighting back. I do understand the worry over expense, but if it were some kind of other life threatening disease, cost is not something that would hold you back. This is life threatening.

Please know we speak up because we truly care about you and really want to see you healthy and well.

Subject: Re: Anorexic Tue Jul 05, 2011 12:01 pm

I can only echo what everyone else has said. And in the state of Michigan, they have what is called "MI Child", which covers children of uninsured families. You might want to have your parents check with your state to see if they offer anything like that.

We are all hoping that you come to grips with this Julia, alongside the care of a physician.

Subject: Re: Anorexic Tue Jul 05, 2011 12:52 pm

I know I have already spoke up on this issue, but I have to say this.... ANOREXIA is a DISEASE.....just like ALCOHOLISM is a DISEASE......it is something you MUST have help with, you CANNOT get over it on our own......Check out what Amy told you about under-insured or non-insured families or see if the hospitals have a "Charity" program. They check out your (parents) background and if you qualify, they pick up the bill. Your health AND life is much more important than trusting this to someone other than a doctor.

JULIA

CANCER FREE!!! April 9, 1998-April 9, 2025-I AM A SURVIVOR!!!

Subject: Re: Anorexic Tue Jul 05, 2011 3:01 pm

Anorexia IS a monster. I will say the advantage I have going to my pastor is that he has had a lot of experiance in dealing with people with eating disorders and the other advantage is that God is involved in it.

I used to always look at my body as fat. Now I look at it and I think, "Lookin' goooood!" Not in a prideful way. Pictures I used to hate I now think I look great in. I haven't thought that way since 2008.
I will write more on your responses when I get back from Wal-Mart....ick. Haha!

"The beauty of a woman is incredibly radiant when she finds her identity, her confidence, & her hope in Christ alone. "

Anorexic - Page 3 JuliaKeeper

Subject: Re: Anorexic Wed Jul 06, 2011 10:47 am

That's not good.I never understood how come young girls who are already natural skinny think they are fat. I used to hate my body around your age.BUT i never went to great lengths doing any of that stuff.The only thing i did was stop eating junk food.

I think it's good you were eating healthy.But i think you need to get help with a doctor.BEfore something "BAD" can happen. Really please get help. You can fight this.BE strong.

some of the stuff your doing is bad.

I agree with Rhonda.please listien to ppl here.We know best.

“Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it... Yet.” ― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

Subject: Re: Anorexic Thu Jul 07, 2011 3:23 pm

I honestly feel everyone is not taking me seriously. I am going to be honest and frank because that is how I've been raised.

I 100% believe God has delivered me from this. All the other times I "thought" I was finshed with this, there was still a little voice in my mind that still thought I was fat. This time, no voice. Just total and complete peace. It's simply wonderful! yesss

And this time I included God in on my situation.
I told my Mother about this post and she wanted me to assure everyone she is watching me like a hawk when it comes to my eating. Everyday she tells me how proud she is of me on how well I am eating. eat

Also, my Grandmother majored in nutrition and was ever a head over a school cafeteria (sp.?) and taught my Mother and my Aunt alot about nutrition.

Eating is so much fun now. That little voice in my head that was screaming guilt into my head has vanished. My famous words now are, "What's for dinner?!" HeeHee

I was just trying to share a wonderful testimony. I am so excited and happy I guess I wanted to share it with friends I consider so dear to my heart. Smiley Hug

Love you all!

P.S. I thought I was taking a break from the forum but it turns out now I don't have to! yesss

"The beauty of a woman is incredibly radiant when she finds her identity, her confidence, & her hope in Christ alone. "

Anorexic - Page 3 JuliaKeeper

Subject: Re: Anorexic Tue Jul 12, 2011 12:01 am

MissYoungClassic wrote:: I honestly feel everyone is not taking me seriously. I am going to be honest and frank because that is how I've been raised.

I 100% believe God has delivered me from this. All the other times I "thought" I was finshed with this, there was still a little voice in my mind that still thought I was fat. This time, no voice. Just total and complete peace. It's simply wonderful! And this time I included God in on my situation.
I told my Mother about this post and she wanted me to assure everyone she is watching me like a hawk when it comes to my eating. Everyday she tells me how proud she is of me on how well I am eating. Also, my Grandmother majored in nutrition and was ever a head over a school cafeteria (sp.?) and taught my Mother and my Aunt alot about nutrition.

Eating is so much fun now. That little voice in my head that was screaming guilt into my head has vanished. My famous words now are, "What's for dinner?!"

I was just trying to share a wonderful testimony. I am so excited and happy I guess I wanted to share it with friends I consider so dear to my heart.
Love you all!

P.S. I thought I was taking a break from the forum but it turns out now I don't have to!

Julia, I'm not in BA, but I just want to step out to state my opinion. I share what you said about God. You know I had a cousin who also was anorexic, and with faith in God she could heal perfectly well; no need to go to doctors...But she had had a GREAT and strong will, and she obliged herself to eat to go out of this hell. Just like you, she could rationalize her illness and I was quite amazed that she could be perfectly able to see that something was wrong with her and keep starving herself. Her attitude saved her, since most of anorexic people DENIES they have a problem and they saids they are perfectly well. My cousin and you accepts you are doing sometyhing bad, even if they weren't able to stop it for a while. My cousin and you have a great faith in God and believed that God will take you out of anorexia's hell. She was able to step out of her illness...and I know you too.

You are a girl made of gold and I know you'll succes fighting anorexia.

I also love you, Julia. If you didn't hear this little voice blaming you for eating any more you could consider yourself almost healed.

Vanesa. Smiley Hug