Post your Joke!

Lol...

Secrets To A Long Happy Marriage
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An old woman was sipping on a glass of wine while sitting on the
patio with her husband and she says,

"I love you so much. I don't know how I could ever live without
you."

Her husband asks, "Is that you or the wine talking?"

She replies, "It's me... talking to the wine."

A Birthday Wish

Little Sonia was shouting her prayers. "Please God send me a new doll for my birthday."

Her mother, overhearing this, said, "Don't shout dear, God isn't deaf."

"No, but Grandad is, and he's in the next room," Sonia replied.

A pastor who was badly overworked went to the local medical center and was able to have a clone made. The clone was like the pastor in every respect--except that the clone used extraordinarily foul language. The cloned pastor was exceptionally gifted in many other areas of pastoral work, but finally the complaints about the dirty language were too much.The pastor was not too sure how to get rid of the clone so that it wouldn't look like murder. The best thing, he decided, was to make the clone's death look like an accident. So the pastor lured the clone onto a bridge in the middle of the night and pushed the clone off the bridge.

Unfortunately there was a police officer who happened by at that very moment and arrested the pastor for making an obscene clone fall.

Up For Grabs

Three ministers are talking over lunch and before long find themselves discussing how much of the weekly offering is appropriate to keep and how much to give to the Lord.

The first minister says, "I just draw a line on the floor, put one foot on both sides, and throw the money into the air. Whatever lands on the right side of the line is God's and whatever lands on the left is mine."

The second minister notes that he uses a similar method, but "I use a small coffee table when I throw the money in the air and whatever lands on the table goes to the Lord and whatever lands on the floor is mine."They both contemplate each other's answer and finally turn to the third minister who is sitting there without saying anything. "Well, how do you do it?" asks the first to the third.

"Well, I do as you both do and throw the money into the air, but I figure whatever the Lord wants, he'll grab, and I keep whatever hits the floor."

Getting to Heaven from the Post Office

A preacher, newly called to a small country town, needed to mail a letter. Passing a young boy on the street, the pastor asked where he could find the post office.

After getting his answer, the minister thanked the boy and said, “If you’ll come to the community church this evening, you can hear me tell everyone how to get to heaven.”

“I don’t know, sir,” the boy replied. “You don’t even know how to get to the post office!”

Forgive me if I have posted this before......
I must have been 8 or 9 when I thought up this 'joke';
"What is a blackboards favorite type of ice-cream?........
Chalk-let!!!"

One fine day in the middle of the night two dead men got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other got out their swords and shot each other. A deaf policeman heard the noise and came to arrest the two young boys. If you don't believe my story's true ask the blind man he saw it too!

"I see," said the blind man to his deaf friend sitting at the corner of a round table

The iFamily

And this one-

Those are both great!