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Adam's Rib

In Sunday School, they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially interested when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.

Later in the week, his mother noticed him lying down as if he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?"

Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."

Love that one!

Three people on a desert island - a physicist, engineer and an economist - and they've got a can of beans. How are they going to open a can of beans to eat before they starve?

The physicist suggests we build a fire, eventually it'll burst open. The engineer devises a way to cut it open. The economist starts off by going, 'let's assume we've got a can opener'.

PawPawPaw

How many dogs does it take to......

These are the answers from dogs when asked "How many dogs does it take to put in a light bulb?"

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. And I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Dachshund: I can't reach the stupid lamp!

Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Rottweiler: Go Ahead! Make me!

Shi-tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling. Let the servants. . . .

Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?

Malamute: Let the Border collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.

Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.

Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got a hangover.

Pointer: I see it, there it is, right there...

Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

Australian Shepherd: Put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?

GOOD 1

I made myself a snowman
as perfect as can be
I thought I'd keep it as a pet
& let it sleep with me.
I made it some pajamas
& a pillow for its head.
Then, last night it ran away,
but first, it wet the bed!!!

Snowman Jokes
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What happened when the snowgirl fell out with the snowboy ?
She gave him the cold shoulder !
What do snowmen wear on their heads ?
Ice caps !
What's an ig ?
An eskimo's home without a loo !
What do snowmen eat for lunch ?
Icebergers !
Where do snowmen go to dance ?
Snowballs !
How do snowmen travel around ?
By iceicle !
What sort of ball doesn't bounce ?
A snowball !
What bird can write under the Arctic Ocean?
A ball-point pen-guin.
How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed ?
You wake up wet !
Why don't the polar bears eat the penguins?
Because they can't get the silver paper off!

Moses on His Walkie Talkie

Nine year old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned at Sunday school.

"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.

"When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely.

"Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."

"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.

"Well, no. But if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"

haha.funny

Sunday School Money

A small boy stunned his parents after Sunday School when he began to empty his pockets of nickels, dimes and quarters. Finally his mother asked the obvious question, "Where did you get all that money?"

"At church," the boy replied nonchalantly. "They have bowls of it."

hahaha

the lazy gen

I'm from Generation X.The coolest one. before Iphones,Ipads,

How Many Women?


A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"

"Sixteen," the boy responded.

His cousin was amazed that he knew the answer so quickly. "How do you know that?"

"Easy," the little boy said.

"All you have to do is add it up, like the Preacher said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."